Introduction

More than once, I have been queried regarding the name of this blog, Contemplations, and the name’s association with my work as a counselor. To that end, I wanted, in this article, to offer some reflections on the nature of the contemplative life, and the relation of contemplation to action. We live in a harried life today where, in our culture, action is valued over contemplation. Yet all of us are probably aware of those times we acted with little reflection and then had to experience the consequences of doing so. Contemplation and action go hand-in-hand. Although the contemplative life tends to draw on images of cenobites and anchorites, such an extreme caricature misses the importance of the need for reflection when we make important decisions for our paths in life, as well as minor decisions. Contemplation is not about turning into a recluse and pondering the meaning of life, but never acting on or toward what life brings at us. However, it is about finding a way to calm the storm that can seemingly come at us in this fast-paced and high-tech life of which we are all a part.

My Vision

My vision for Contemplations is that it will become a place that provides time and space for people to slow down the pace of life, step on the brakes, so to say, and take time to reflect on how they truly want to live and shape their lives. Some people may be seeking only small changes in their lives while others are going through major transitions. Perhaps some people need a venue to recoup after a day’s work, or they may need just a few meetings to get away from the daily routines of life. Others may need some extended time to process major changes that are presently occurring or will occur in their lives in the near future. I envision my practice as providing people the place and time to support them while they seek to navigate the sinuous paths their lives may take.

Modalities

As a counselor, I draw on several modalities for working with people. Although I use no one particular theoretical approach in counseling, I work primarily within an existential framework. On a practical level, such an approach means that I work with individuals to explore the many themes that emerge in their lives. Counseling will be tailored to the particular concerns or questions with which individuals are dealing. My work with individuals may entail such foci as career counseling and guidance, values clarification, spirituality, and navigating other transitions in life.

Mindfulness

The contemplative life is largely associated with the practice of mindfulness. However, mindfulness can mean many things. For centuries, people have drawn on what are called the spiritual disciplines as a guide in their navigation to life’s challenges and pleasures. Meditation is one particular discipline, but mindfulness entails much more that meditation. Personally, I like to describe being mindful as becoming aware of things in our lives that might be affecting us that heretofore we have remained unaware. Such things may entail the way we make decisions, deeply held values of which we’re unaware, the way in which our emotions impact us, certain beliefs we hold of which we’re unaware, and the manner in which our interpersonal relationships can influence us. Most importantly, such an approach, while it can draw on spirituality if people so wish to do so, is not necessarily associated with any one spiritual belief system. [For example, although meditation for many people is associated with Eastern Religions, I’m not a Buddhist.] This approach allows people to bring to this work whatever spiritual values they hold, if they choose to draw on those. Or spirituality may not be important to them at all. People can discover how to become aware of things in all areas of their lives. Such awareness provides them with a new angle on life by which to make decisions and shape their lives.

The Harried Life

Mindfulness is just one point under an umbrella of the contemplative life. Contemplation is itself a way of living. From my perspective, our society has lost the richness that comes from slowing down so as to reflect on life. We are a busy society, and while that is not necessarily a bad thing, a thoroughly hyperactive life can rob us of the enrichment that comes with taking time to reflect on how we would prefer to live. Purposely drawing on time to take stock of our lives feels risky. In our society, we are taught to value action. Acting on life is indeed important. But action without reflection can lead us to be tossed here and there by waves of expediency leaving us to feel as if our lives do not rest on a solid footing. The contemplative life does not demand of us to become a troglodyte, but simply asks us to reflect before we act.

Conclusion: Reflection on What?

I want to conclude this article here, leaving readers with an idea of what the contemplative life is and what it is not. Those things that people might reflect on and desire to work through will be the subject of the second part of this essay on contemplation. In Part II of the Contemplative Life, I will focus on those areas that people might explore, completing the vision I have for my work. Such areas include: 1) major transitions in life; 2) values clarification; 3) the influence of certain relationships in which one in engaged; and 4) career counseling and guidance. Part II will explore these areas in more detail. In the meantime, it is important to realize that contemplation and action are not antithetical. They are reciprocal, and involve processes that can aid all of us in our navigation toward the kind of life we desire to live.

John V. Jones, Jr., Ph.D., LPC-S/January 14, 2015

GENERAL ESSAY

Introduction

When one hears the word, Entrepreneur, the world of business automatically comes to mind, as it properly should. Entrepreneurs are those trailblazers engaging high-risk business ventures that most people would leave to the few and the wild. The paths they open up benefit those who follow where they have risked first blood. Although I do not want to minimize how the business entrepreneur, venture capitalist, benefits society –  (true free market entrepreneurs are minimized much too often these days) – in this essay, I would like to expand the concept of entrepreneurship, using it as a metaphor for what I call Entrepreneurial Living. Such a notion calls on us to become entrepreneurs of our own lives, carving out our Life Paths as we pursue a multitude of Life-Long Goals we set and reset for ourselves, perhaps modifying, altering, or revolutionizing them along the way. In the pursuit of such paths, we typically come to realize that in order to succeed in capturing our goals, we need to take stock of our present Personal Skills and Needed Skills, and, all along the way, we need to clarify our Personal Values, which inform what we pursue and how we get there. Any form of entrepreneurship comprises our grasping these concepts for ourselves: Life Paths, Personal Goals, Immediate Goals, Personal Skills, and Needed Skills. I will provide my own take on these concepts in my call to those who wish to do so to embrace the spirit of Entrepreneurial Living. From my perspective, Entrepreneurial Living entails each of us coming to grips with what is of most important in our lives, and how we can pursue what that entails so as to fully engage a life of fulfillment. Such a life will mean something different for each one of us. And what I have to say here is simply my take. Hopefully this perspective can provide some food for thought that people can apply to their own personal contexts.

Life Paths

Life Paths are those roads we travel throughout our lives to accomplish the goals we set for ourselves. They are the many trails we travel to reach our goals. Moreover, Life Paths comprise experiences from which we can learn or fail to learn. Of course, learning from our experiences keeps us on track. But if we fail to learn lessons from our experiences in the moment, we may lose valuable insights that can help us continue to navigate the path we’re on. This is not to say that everything is lost if we fail to learn something important in each and every moment. We can reflect back on our experiences and gain lessons through such reflection. [Such reflection time, by the way, I believe is important to fruitful entrepreneurship. We need to find ways to build such time into our daily activities.] But the hard truth of the matter is that we can, and most likely will, miss opportune moments in our endeavors to learn important lessons. Recognizing this is a learning experience itself. Sometimes we have to grasp the hard truth that we simply missed some important crossroads in our lives. Such an experience brings up another important axiom for fruitful entrepreneurship: Being honest with ourselves when we miss such opportunities. It is a sad fact, I think, that we, as human beings, tend to deny truths about ourselves. Authenticity is an important value to embrace if one seeks to be an entrepreneur of one’s life.

As I stated above, I strongly believe that reflection is an important skill for the entrepreneur. Life Paths contain valuable lessons and information from which we can glean important knowledge that hopefully translates into wisdom for living. They mysterious thing about Life Paths, however, is that most of the time they tend to be on the edge of our awareness. Many times a Life Path is something about which we gain concrete understanding only after reflection. As we get older, hopefully we learn how to more efficiently size up the present situations in which we find ourselves. We become more aware of how to glean lessons from our concrete experiences. Such lessons can be about our selves, others, or the contexts in which we move and live. Lessons can also transform into spiritual or transcendent experiences in that they can help us obtain personal meaning. Reflection work can involve many ways for taking stock of our lives. We can think back on the many paths we traveled, how we got onto them, and how we have arrived where we are at the moment. What put us on a particular path? What have we learned from where and how we have traversed? Did we miss something important at the time? In what ways did the paths we traveled make demands on us? Did we meet those demands, or did we falter? What did we learn about ourselves either way? How do Life Paths illumine our past and present relationships, work, career, personal goals, and personal meaning? Reflection time can help us come to grips with some of these questions. It is important, however, to not get bogged down in mere reflection. In the meantime, life keeps rolling.

Reflection upon and gaining more clarity about our Life Paths can help us make decisions about the paths we have traveled and those that we are yet to traverse. Are we on the path we want to travel? We cannot know the end from the beginning. We cannot obtain promises and guarantees that our paths will turn out the way we want them to. There is much work to be done on our part so as to make the best decisions possible regarding our Life Paths. Beyond that, we simply live day-to-day. 

Personal Goals

Life-Long Goals: Life-Long Goals are those long-term goals we set for ourselves that delineate the objectives and accomplishments we hope to obtain. They can involve family, work, career, leisure, travel, finances, owning a home, planning for retirement, and on and on. Life-Long Goals are typically guided by our Personal Values. We pursue what we count as valuable. To be honest, I have what I consider a mixed-bagged experience with long-term goals. I know people who have settled in on their Life-Long Goals, and have wavered only a few degrees off mark. For me, quite frankly, that has not been the case. No doubt, I set long-term goals for myself, but the paths I have traveled have been many and sinuous, with twist and turns I would have never imagined. The one lesson regarding long-term goals I have gleaned for myself is simply not to stand still. Set the goal, and start moving. It will take you somewhere. How much foundation one sets before moving, how much one plans, and how much one knows before setting sail, are, no doubt, important considerations. Yet such considerations are the very stuff that few, if any, can answer for others. My take is simply this: gather your information, obtain feedback from wise people you trust, make your plans to the best of your ability and to your personal satisfaction. But when you step out onto your journey, it is your path, and it belongs to no one else. People, indeed, move though life without reflecting much on their goals. Although such a take on life doesn’t exactly work for me, what has come to work for me – what I have come to believe – is not to let long-term goals bog me down to the point I don’t move. And also, I have become quite convinced that being aware of when to change or even let go of long-term goals is an important matter that can prevent one for trying to sail a ship that is much too leaky. I believe an important consideration regarding long-term goals is whether or not we let them restrict the way we go about living. In relation to our goals, what do we say to ourselves or about ourselves that may limit, restrict, or impede the way we go about living? I wish I could provide more in terms of what might be considered insight here. But, in my own way of living, I have become much too aware of what I don’t know in comparison to what I do know.

Immediate Goals: It is quite common in most how-to treatises to divide goals into long-term and immediate or short-term goals. [The last thing I want this essay to be is a how-to treatise!] No doubt, immediate goals entail those we set at the moment or for the immediate future to meet certain needs, develop particular skills, or to accomplish certain tasks so that life can go on for us. The threat of immediate-goals is what some call the tyranny of the urgent. [The opposite effect is the fog of the future, whereby long-term plans cloud our judgment regarding immediate goals.] The tyranny of the urgent allows immediate goals to overwhelm us to the point that we lose site of our long-term goals. In distinguishing our long-term from our short-term goals, it is important to know how the latter serves the former. Yet it is important to realize that as we pursue immediate goals, such pursuits can have a rippling effect on our long-term plans. I think it is important to stay open to this reciprocity without bowing to the tyranny of the urgent or getting lost in the fog of the future. Reflection time can be the key here as well: gaining clarification, making necessary changes, or staying the course. The interrelationship of our various goals set the paths we travel.

Becoming clear about Personal Goals means we make decisions with more awareness. Decisions may still be difficult, and we, once again, do not know the end from the beginning. But it is important work for each individual to clear as much fog as possible from around his or her decision-making. The fog will never be totally cleared; there are always risks that go with decisions. But as we become more aware about our Personal Goals, our decisions are more likely to flow smoother from such clarity. 

Personal Skills

Present Skills: If we want to pursue our Life Paths and achieve our Personal Goals, then life demands of us that we possess a set of Personal Skills by which we accomplish this endeavor. Another important avenue of exploration for the entrepreneur of life is to take stock of the present skills he or she in fact possesses. We develop a wide variety of skills of which we may not even be aware merely through our experience of living. People skills, organization skills, physical skills, analytical skills, big-picture skills, attention-to-detail skills, etc. Likewise, there are conceptual skills: thinking, reflection, and meditation skills. All of us who are engaged in living are constantly developing a variety of skills. Those skills to some degree have emerged from what we value, and, in turn, influence what we continue to value, what we pursue, and the goals we set for ourselves. Taking stock of our present skills is an awareness type of work that we can put to use to help our decision making regarding our Life Paths and Personal Goals.

Needed Skills: If it is important to clarify what skills we possess, it is equally important clarify what skills we lack that are needed in pursuit of the goals and paths we have set for ourselves. What skills do we need to develop to accomplish the things we want? How do we even find out what skills we need? Here the important trait of self-honesty comes into play again. What will it take for us to be honest with ourselves about the skills we lack? What will it take for us to reach down into our gut and admit that we do not have certain skills that would be beneficial or totally necessary for us to accomplish in life what we desire? We all possess certain skills, and we all lack important ones to obtain those goals in life that make us reach beyond our present circumstances. Important goals in our lives make us stretch; they lead to personal growth. Growth means, we have to develop.

Gaining clarity on the skills that we possess, as well as the skills we need to develop involves awareness work on our part that clears the paths of obstacles in our Life Paths and to our Personal Goals. Being honest with ourselves, rather than being in denial about the skills we lack will, in the long run, serve us in our pursuit of what we desire from life. Whether or not we like it, to desire something from life requires that we also come to grips with what life requires of us. If I am not honest with myself about the skills I possess and those that I lack, then in navigating my Life Path I will encounter obstacles that could have been avoided through more self-honesty or authenticity.

Personal Values

Values can be distinguished in many ways. Morals, tastes, subjective evaluations, all make up ways that explain how people may come to value things in life or about life. Personal Values drive and lead us down our Life Paths and inform us as we set our Personal Goals. We may value a certain lifestyle – a home, a good job, a family, and success at raising children. We may value a certain level of income, or a steady, secure job. Or we may value freedom and flexibility rather than stability. We may have values that appear to conflict. Can we make them work, or do we need to choose one over the other? And then, what are spiritual values? What part do they play in the way we set our Personal Goals and navigate our Life Path? The entrepreneur of life must take stock once again as to how to approach life so as to live by his or her values. That bothersome personal authenticity raises its head again. When I say I value something, am I being honest with myself? Or have I unthinkingly – unreflectively – inculcated my values from my family, peers, or the social context in which I am immersed? Awareness work is of the essence once again. Once aware of my values, how do they reflect my decisions about relationships, family, work, career, or spirituality?

Becoming clear about what values are our own as opposed to those things we are told or led to value can vastly enhance our decision making regarding Life Paths and Personal Goals. Being clear about what we truly value provides some understanding of what is required to step into a decision. Courage is what allows and leads us to take such steps. Without clear values and an understanding of where we want to head in our lives, courage is hard to come by. Yet courage is most important during those times when we lack clarity – specifically the courage to be honest about such uncertainty. Clarifying values is like any other clarifying work we do. We cannot see what life will bring our way that will challenge, and perhaps, alter our values. We move on what we understand at the moment. Courage helps us put one foot in front of the other as we navigate life, constantly checking our need to clarify our values. 

Conclusion: Entrepreneurial Living

When reflecting on the world of business, where people carve out lives for themselves, the entrepreneur is someone who ventures, takes risks, and faces the unknown. He is someone who realizes that there are no guarantees to his venturing out. She may succeed or she may fail. He has done all he can do to make his path as obstacle-free as possible. But no one person can see or know the end from the beginning. There are always boulders in the path that he or she didn’t count on. There are dead-end trails that come up shorter than anyone hoped or expected. So the entrepreneur has to be flexible and adaptable. The entrepreneur will have to perform a lot of problem-solving along the way and the circumventing of boulders. However, such circumventing cannot be a way of avoiding working through difficulties. Sometimes one merely may have to go through a boulder. The entrepreneur knows that if difficulties are not worked through, they have a way of systematically returning, perhaps being worse on the recycle.

Such a scenario is true of any business venture. But isn’t it also true of living? Entrepreneurial Living is risky, with no guarantees, and no promises for a successful tomorrow. As we set out on our Life Paths, guided by our Personal Values and moving toward our Personal Goals, do we have any guarantees that we will obtain that for which we reach? If we are going to pursue something worthwhile that will bring Personal Meaning to us, then life is going to demand certain things of us, whether we like it or not. And what those demands are, we rarely know until we step out onto the path we desire to travel.

Entrepreneurial Living means coming to grips with the fact that no on can give us a life. We may, indeed, need to ask for help along the way? Most of us do. We may need to lean on someone through tough times. Many of us have and will. And there is value in so doing. But no one can promise us a life anymore than they can give us a set of values and principles by which to live. They can share values and principles, but somewhere along the line of our Life Paths, we have to own either embracing those values and principles for our lives, or rejecting them for an alternative set of values and principles.

Entrepreneurial Living means experiencing, facing, and learning the lessons from successes, setbacks, and failures. Someone has said that the word, failure, needs to cease being a dirty word. I totally agree.  We may fail. We will fail. But we will not succeed until we learn how to learn from failure. Life offers no promises. And life is not always fair. These adages we have heard time and again. But until we face them in the experiential nexus of our own personal living, we truly do not understand what the words mean.

Entrepreneurial Living means stepping into the unknown. What we don’t know is infinitely greater than what we do know. We have to truly, radically accept the notion of our ignorance, and humble ourselves accordingly. Until we accomplish the task of humility, arrogance and hubris will go out before us while time awaits our downfall. [And I write this as a person who has a difficult time with humility.] We will arrogantly assume that we know all that we need to know about living. But life itself will teach us differently. And either we will learn to accommodate the lessons of living, or we will crash and break up by throwing ourselves against them. The entrepreneur of life understands that the unknown is incomprehensible and not necessarily safe.

Although the word, entrepreneur, describes those individuals who carve out a business for themselves, it can also become a epithet for the entrepreneur of life. Entrepreneurial Living reflects what it takes to live a life of personal fulfillment and meaning. Being an entrepreneur is an approach to life, but it is also a stance toward life, where one pursues his passion with all he has in him.

John V. Jones, Ph.D., LPC-S/December 14, 2014

GENERAL ESSAY

There are crimes of passion and there are crimes of logic.

– – Albert Camus

Introduction

Many of you, I’m sure, probably have heard such adages as: Life always appears to be moving between extremes. Or perhaps, you’ve listen to people giving you advice claim: You have to find the balance between the extreme polarities of living.  No doubt, when we reason or reflect on decisions we’ve made, or actions we’ve taken, we tend to think in terms of polarities. Was I too angry? Was I not angry enough. Do I live life too cautiously and avoid risks? Do I take too many risks? Was I acting too rational, or should I have gone with my gut? And the questions seem to never cease. When certain decisions tend to work in our favor, we think we have found the right balance or nodal point on the continua that appear to make up living. We think we have life nailed down only to find out that the next time around, in trying to maintain the proper balance, things don’t work out the same. What is one to do?

Well, quite frankly, I have no idea what one is to do. More specifically, I have little understanding in what I should do from one major decision to the next. No doubt there is such a thing in life called wisdom, but I’m not sure I have the market cornered on that notion. Well, let me retract. I am sure – I don’t have that market cornered. One of my favorite authors I have read over the years is Albert Camus. Now-and-then in interviews, he would talk about his personal anarchy and how troublesome it was for him, yet he never desired to surrender it. So I think I’ll address this topic from a rather radical perspective. I’m going to offer up the point that says: Forget the balance! In fact, trying to figure out how to navigate a continuum can become a problem that impedes the very path one is seeking to navigate. We can get stuck on the continuum rather than doing what we need or want to do.

What are some common continua that people have discussed through the ages? They seem to come up when people want to make decisions, specifically major decisions for one’s life. But I think understanding how certain continua play in our lives involve more that specific decisions. How we think about these polarities we tend to face in living has much to do with how we, in fact, choose to live – to face life. Let’s look at five different continua that people commonly talk about: 1) Rationality or Reason versus Passion or Emotion; 2) Responsibility versus Freedom; 3) Risk versus Security; 4) Relation versus Solitude; and 5) Rebellion versus Conformity. Notice how I used an “R-word” for the first antipode of each polarity? Cool, huh?

Rationality/Reason versus Passion/Emotion

Writers, spiritualists, shamans, and more have discussed this continuum as far back as we can find literature. The wisdom literature of Proverbs has much to say about not letting anger get the best of us. But it likewise discusses the passion of living. The Greeks waxed eloquently on this polarity, and concluded that both are part of life and life’s difficulties, and that both have to be given reign at times. The worship of Apollo as the icon of Reason contrasted with orgiastic rites in the worship of Dionysus epitomized Greek thought on these two apparently opposite ways of taking on life. Everyone knows that navigating life is tricky. Would be that there were formulas for all situations. [However, if there were such formulas, I’m not sure how interesting, exciting, or rich life would be.] Weighing options, obtaining wise input, reflecting on past decisions and actions are all wise and prudent ways to approach life. No one in their right mind would say never consider these approaches in navigating life. Yet we have probably heard others tell us that sometimes we can think too much. Thought can actually impede action. I believe the over use of Reason or Rationality can occur when we demand and expect too much from these two R’s. Reason and Rationality can help us along the way, but can they answer everything we want answered? Perhaps, the problem in our navigating life at times, is that we simply want too much answered before we take a step. Consequently, we don’t step at all. I have definitely heard more than once the input: Sometimes you just have to throw caution to the wind. Such a statement sounds frightening as though we should never think about anything. I believe in the mix of these two polarities, but I have no absolute idea as to what the balance might look like. In my own course of living, I tend to think things through and act or not act. When I want the two R’s to answer all the unknowns before I take on life, then I’m asking too much from them. Of course, the opposite navigation is to hold that reason matters not at all, and to simply move through life acting on one’s gut, feel, or passion. Passion is a wonderful experience. I firmly believe we need it to live a full, enriched life. But we probably all know when we have acted unwisely, or we know people who tend to never think things out or reflect on past experiences in their lives so as to never learn anything. There are times that I have acted on things with little forethought, and it worked out just fine. Other times, not so well. And there are those times that I got stuck in over-think and I did not act at all. Those what-if’s can be nasty stuff, I tell you. Perhaps what we should take from this navigation is not to camp at either end of the pole. Keep navigating. As for the balance. You’re going to have to work that out for yourself.

Responsibility versus Freedom

I sometimes wonder why Responsibility and Freedom are put on a continuum, or why they’re considered a polarity. I tend to agree with the existentialists here that these two so-called antipodes are actually two different sides of the same coin. Where I see it work as a possible polarity in my life, as well as others, is when we want the freedom to choose something – a course of action, a relationship, a major crossroad in life – but we don’t want the consequences if the choice turns sour. This seems, once again, the old desire of wanting all the unknowns made known before we venture into life. I hate to admit it, but there are times that I actually despise the reality that there are unknowns in life. But I also admit that I truly believe that the unknowns are what make life exciting. Life would be truly boring if we were omniscient. [I suppose anyway; I’ve never been omniscient, so I don’t know.] Those golden, but at times painful, opportunities to learn from our mistakes are what we call growth pangs. And isn’t life about growth? Does not our sense of competency and confidence in living come from mastering things that have been difficult for us? Rather than viewing Responsibility and Freedom as a polarity, perhaps we should think of it as a way of living – period. Wanting the freedom to choose, but avoid the consequences that come with the choice is what Sartre called cowardice and bad faith. I also tend to think it’s rather adolescent. However, I don’t want to be too judgmental here, because I succumb to this temptation as well. Perhaps wanting the freedom but not the responsibility is another way of avoiding living all together. I don’t know. If you think you can pull it off, that’s one you’ll have to figure out for yourself as well.

Risk versus Security

This is an interesting continuum, and I particularly see it in the way we depend on powerful people to take care of us. It’s rather like continuing childhood where perhaps parents guarded their offspring against the frightful realities of living. But on an individual level, I think the fear involved in navigating this continuum goes back to the root problem of wanting to have all the answers to life’s dilemma before stepping out to encounter what life has to offer. One of my favorite Robin Williams’ films is The Dead Poet Society. One of the characters in that film, a high-school student, became enamored by a young coed from different high school across town. He decided he believed in the power of poetry, so he risked reading her a poem in her classroom before school started. He read the poem and quickly retreated back to his campus. His friends back at the prep school he attended asked him: Did it work? He shrugged his shoulders and said: I don’t know, but I did it. And the fact that he did it meant everything to him. The weighing of risks may default to the first continuum discussed. Are we asking too much of the two R’s before we risk certain things?  The desire for security is another thing all together. No doubt, we want to navigate life’s obstacles in ways that keep us safe and secure. But one cannot help but ask the question: If I don’t take certain risks, will I achieve the security I desire? And as important: If I do take certain risks, might I lose the security I have? One of the first sentences in M. Scott Peck’s book, The Road Less Traveled, states: Life is a struggle. It appears once again that if we camp at either one of these poles, we might not achieve or accomplish all we want for our lives. Is there a right balance to Risk versus Security? I have no idea of how to answer that question. Individuals appear to possess a vast difference as to how risk-embracing or how risk-avoidant they are. And then, there are most likely specific times in all our lives that we are called to be one or the other. You have to answer your own call on that one.

Relation versus Solitude

Throughout the history of literature, particular spiritual literature, solitude is considered a discipline. It is a time to reflect, slow things down, focus our attention, or relax our harried lives. Yet I know people who are literally frightened beyond the pale of spending time alone. We probably all know those individuals who define their lives, indeed define themselves, by the relationships they engage. [P.S. I’ve been there; don’t want to go back.] As well, we may know people who view their lives as miserable if they are not in an intimate relationship. Hence, they bounce from one intimacy to another. I believe our culture, today, does not value solitude, and in fact, grossly misunderstands it. So it would be easy for me to value one end of this continuum. I want to avoid that misperception. But think about the way our culture views so-called extraverts and introverts. Introverts tend to feel that something is wrong with them. They understand that they don’t make sense of life the same way as extraverts do. Sometimes they may be viewed as stuck-up or snobbish. This is particularly the case when introverts are shy. [Not all introverts are shy; the two concepts should not be equated.] They are told: You need to be more outgoing. Don’t be so quiet. Get out and meet people. Stand up for yourself. The gregarious and the ones who are the life of the party tend to be valued in our culture. Several excellent works have been written on this subject. The Party of One: A Loner’s Manifesto by Anneli Rufus addresses her struggles as one who valued being alone most of the time throughout her life. Susan Cain’s Quiet speaks to similar concerns of being an introvert in a society that values extraversion. And Diane Senechal discusses the problem of group think in the schools in her work The Republic of Noise. I truly believe that solitude is a lost art. I am naturally a loner, and have experienced the misperceptions due to that fact. One of my favorite TV dramas is Criminal Minds. I always have to smile, when the serial killer they are chasing each week is described as a “loner”. Loners, know you’re misunderstood on so many levels. However, I also realize that people can use the notion of solitude to avoid connectedness. I, in fact, tend to do just this. Solitude should help us, as stated above, reflect, slow down, come to a greater sense of who we are as individuals, which should, in turn, enhance, not impede, our connectedness. No doubt, we learn much about ourselves through relationships, and we are left much less enriched if we don’t have close friends and people to whom we can turn in time of need, or people with whom we simply spend time. The caution, once again is to not camp at either pole. I know many gregarious individuals. Some know a multitude of people, but they do not know and are not known by anyone. And I know those who would use their solitude because they do not want to risk relationships, particularly close, intimate ones. Where’s the balance? I have absolutely no idea. You have to walk that road on your own.

Rebellion versus Conformity

As said, one of my favorite authors is Albert Camus. Camus was an interesting individual to say the least. He was the icon of James Dean cool in the 1950’s. He, unfortunately, died in a car crash at the age of 47 in 1960. Until that time, he had been a prolific writer and playwright. Rebellion appeared to be his middle name or nickname. His collected work of essays, entitled Resistance, Rebellion, & Death, and his book The Rebel, addressed many of his philosophical positions on what it meant to be a rebel. His was no romanticized viewed. He strongly believed in the destructive power of conformity, what Nietzsche would call the herd-mentality. But his view of rebellion was not an adolescent view of rebelliousness for the sake of rebellion. He believed that inherent in life and the people we encounter in life lies the overwhelming coercion to conform, on some level. And, from his perspective, conformity on any level, must be questioned. To align with social values while one has thought through and understands with what one is in alignment is one thing. But to align without question, is another thing all together. Personally, for me this is not merely a polarity for which integration must be found. Rebellion versus Conformity is a legitimate struggle in life from my perspective. Conformity is the life-canceling end of this polarity. We do not own our lives if we conform without question. And today, we live in what I perceive as a highly conformist society. It tickles me silly at times to hear how our society is called an individualist one. Wish to heaven that it was. But rebellion is an individual act. It’s a mistake to view it as a social or collective act. Collectivism of any form is conformity. It is the herd mentality. Each of us must consider how life asks and pressures us to conform, and how rebellion will play a vital part of the way we carve out our own paths for living. I tend to favor Rebellion on this so-called continuum. However, becoming rebellious for the sake of rebellion is just another way of conforming. Our Rebellion is a personal act. This is one of the most interesting continuums to me because I believe that we can easily slip or drift into conformity without realizing it. Is there a balance? I personally don’t believe so. In what ways might you need to rebel so as to claim your life as your own? That’s a path you have to cut for yourself.

Conclusion

Five continuums or sets of polarities present themselves to us, it seems, in our navigation of living. I’ve heard people speak of balance, integration, resolve, etc. I have no idea what any of that may look like for others. I have a difficult enough time trying to figure out what it looks like for me. Perhaps, a caution is to avoid camping on either end of the so-called polarities, if indeed they are polarities at all. Perhaps the notion of polarities or continua are nothing more than an interpretive grid we place over our quests to make sense of living. They do appear to present themselves as various ways of navigating life. That navigation falls in the purview of each one of us. Your life is yours to navigate. Navigate well, my friend. On this side of living, it’s the only life you have. [As far as I understand.]

John V. Jones, Jr., Ph.D, LPC-S/November 14, 2014

GENERAL ESSAY

I suppose that since I’ve entered that segment of life that the institution for which I work designates as, “Phased-Retirement”, I might be accused by some as having too much time on my hands. These thoughts I set forth here are indeed a product of that free gratis that I like to call, “time for reflection.”

Only six weeks have passed since my new phase kicked off, and already I have to say – I love it! Not because I like not going to work. I actually love teaching at the university level. But more so because the time has allowed me breathing space for reading, traveling, exploring various ideas and other avenues for fulfillment – all those things that work and a savings account can create for someone. Now with these degrees of freedom, I’m truly faced with those sweet existential plumbs known as, “choices.” The feeling is one of having new paths thrown open before me. One might call them beginnings. And beginnings have always excited me. These fresh choices of new beginnings have helped me realize something else that I tend, unfortunately, to forget much too often.

Life is a gift. And it’s one I believe that we need to delve into it with everything we’ve got, however we define that for ourselves. We are here; then we are not. Whatever one may believe transpires afterwards, this space-time reality we’re in right now is the one we have – for right now. I can’t help but wonder what I’m called to do with this time.

But there’s another side. How many countless millions of people face circumstances in which it’s hard for them to fathom life as a gift? They see no place that life can take them; nor do they have a view of a future where there might be possibilities for delving full-throttle into life. They exist now in places all over the world where oppression, disease, and death are the rule rather than the exception. History is replete with their horrifying stories from Gulags and genocides to famine and starvation. There “choices” are about mere survival. And then there are those who have faced such horrifying circumstances, yet emerge from them with a full-blown belief that life, yes, indeed, is a gift. It seems sometimes that those who have experienced the darkest of times can emerge from that darkness with the view that life is worth all the choices we can muster. Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, Viktor Frankl, Elie Wiesel come to mind as examples of those who garnered strength from shattered circumstances. There are many others, and their stories have been told. I remember a line from the movie, Doctor Zhivago, uttered by Julie Christie’s character, Lara: “This is such a terrible time to be alive.” My present circumstances, to be quite frank, are easy. I do not live in what I perceive to be terrible times. Yet harsh realities are all around: terrorism, war, Ebola, an economy on the edge of an abyss. Situations can change in the blink-of-an-eye. Yet it doesn’t take catastrophes for me to easily forget the gift of life. Taking life for granted is a human flaw. I hope that my present circumstances, blessed as they are, do not blind me to the fact I must take hold of the advantages I have to obtain the kind of life I want for myself. Given human nature, blessings can lead to complacency. And wrapped in complacency, I can let slip by, unnoticed, all the incredible opportunities and amazing paths for discovery and experience that life has to offer. It’s an easy thing to do. Complacency is an easy chair that beckons lazy bones.

Time compresses the living. It seeks to teach us that it always surges forward. It doesn’t pause, stop, nor turn back. At first it seems unending, wide, broad, flexible, and deep. But then it begins to bear down on one with the question: How much of it do I have left? It’s not a question that anyone can answer, so I’m not sure that it’s one worth asking. What is worthwhile is the pursuit of life and all that it has to offer and throw at us. Time compresses the living always. We just don’t notice time until something makes us notice it. The full engagement of life is as important for an eighteen-year-old as it is for me at sixty-seven years old. Time bears down. One day we turn around and it slaps us in the face with the raw fact that it always has been working that way. While time is never-ending, on this side of time, we are not. If we are blessed with having “choices”, we had better look into what it means to make the best of them.

What do you want to do with your life? What dreams do you hold that set your soul ablaze when you think about them? What values do you hold to your core that you want to define you by the way you live them out? What wild ideas do you have that you would love to take hold of and race after, even when everyone else might be saying, take caution? Caution, advice, and wise counsel are necessary things for living. But take care that words of so-called wisdom come not from those who kill dreams. The killers of the dream are all around us. Sound wisdom helps us discern those we can trust from those we can’t when it comes to seeking help with our life decisions. But at the crossroads of living, the choice of which road to take belongs to each one of us alone.

Life is a gift. Step into it as one. And discover all it has to offer you. If you are blessed with having choices, seize them, weigh them, and then make them. And never stop learning from them. The gift of life is what you have now. All that lays before you are your choices to make of it what you will.

I suppose that at this phase of my life, such thoughts as these emerge from that pull that calls me to reflect on the signposts that have marked my paths. But to reflect on what kind of life you want for yourself is worthwhile at any phase of life.

Meanwhile, time bears down.

John V. Jones, Jr. Ph.D., LPC-S/October 14, 2014

GENERAL ESSAY

Introduction

Last month’s (07/14/14) Post on my blog, Contemplations, marked the end of my first year of blogging for this site. My first year as a blogger passed almost without notice until I realized that with “The Edge of Existence”, the number of blogs had totaled to twelve. Consequently, I’ve been racking my brain over what to write to inaugurate my second year of blogging for Contemplations. Only a few months ago, I changed the subtitle of my blog from, The Center for Existential Psychotherapy to The Art and Skill of Living. Since I altered the name of the blog, I’ve been pondering what the change means as far as any new directions the blog might take. Thus far, I haven’t come to any concrete decisions. So! I thought I would kick-off my second year of blogging by doing just that, pondering. Well, not exactly, but elaborate a bit more about what the future might hold for this blog. I thought at first, I would entitle my blog, “What the Future Holds.” But such a title sounds rather presumptuous. And, quite frankly, I don’t know what the future holds. The title sounds like some kind of prophecy. So here I sit, pondering the directions this blog might travel, so forgive my meandering thoughts as I talk about some of the things I think I might want to do over the next year. Of course, tomorrow is another day. (Anybody know that movie? Hint: Vivian Lee.)

Life Outside of Therapy

The first thing to probably logically consider is the change of subtitle to, The Art and Skill of Living. The major change the subtitle brings to this blog is that it takes the website out of a therapy setting, and broadens its scope for topics by placing it beneath a larger umbrella. One of the reasons that I think this happened in my thinking is that my life has now moved into what the University I work for designates as, “Phased Retirement”. I’m blessed and fortunate, at this time, to be in a position that I have more options available to me than the workaday world of academia, teaching, and a part-time private practice. There are other things in which I’m interested. One thing that this time of my life has done for me is present itself with the excitement of new avenues to explore, skills to develop, and opportunities of which to take advantage. Another thing that this phase of life has shown me is how over the years, I’ve rather compartmentalized my life around my career, believing that my focus, interests, and desires should be thrown totally in my work as a professor and a part-time counselor. Something inside me always raised its antennae at times, telling me I really didn’t want to live like that. But now I realize how much my life has revolved around teaching, therapy, and ideas associated with that world. I’m thankful for the choices I made toward a career, realizing decades ago that I wanted to teach at the university level. It has been a good life, and the world of counseling will always be with me on some level. But there are other roads out there. I’m ready to get my motor running and head out on the highway. (Anybody know that song? Hint: Hermann Hesse.)

The World of Ideas

One of the reasons I wanted to teach at the university level is that for a number of years, the world of ideas has always drawn my interests. I thought that being in a university would be the perfect setting to explore ideas around people interested in the same thing. Much of that is true; some of it, however, unfortunately, is not. The university has its bureaucracies and hierarchy like any other institution. And requirements like publishing articles, training counseling students, staying on top of info so that it doesn’t become dated and stale, are just part of the work. And teaching in a graduate counseling program, almost by necessity, frames the ideas with which I would be, for the most part, involved. I also realize that, like any setting, one has to make of it what one can, and not let it dictate one’s life totally. Sometimes I was good at that; other times, not. But over the years, I was able to read from other fields besides counseling, and the therapeutic world lends itself to the exploration of the history of thought and philosophy. Having obtained a master’s degree in literature, I kept one foot in that field as well. But now, I have open before me the possibility of exploring various fields, writings, endeavors, and ideas. I am particularly interested in how ideas impact people in a way that places them on their paths of living. What are the ideas that people live by? What ideas do people hold with passion? How do people draw on their life experiences and beliefs to make decisions, minor and major, for their lives? These are some of the avenues that I envision as a possibility for exploration in my life, and hopefully, to some extent on the blog for my readers. I strongly believe the old adage, “Ideas have Consequences.” So I hope to expand the doors of my perception and see where the road takes me. (Doors of Perception: Anybody know the poet from whom that came? Hint: It’s not Jim Morrison or Aldus Huxley.)

Anarchism

One of my favorite writers is the old anarchist, Albert Jay Nock. I have definitely more than leaned toward anarchism the last few years. (Shhhhh! Don’t tell anyone.) But Nock wrote an autobiography that he called, Memoirs of a Superfluous Man. Speaking about the world of ideas and how they influence one’s living, I have to say that Nock’s work is one of the most enjoyable reads I have ever undertaken. There are many battles I have fought over the years, with other people and inside myself. These conflicts have various battlegrounds – academia, church settings, political discussions, conversations about the arts, and more. The road I’m on now, and one on which I hope to stay the course, is away from, letting go, unhooking from – however one may want to characterize it – those battles and chiefly the traps into which I tended to fall regarding them. It’s not that I don’t think that the ideas associated with and the content that formed those conflicts are unimportant. On the contrary. But sometimes the fighting, both external and internal, took my eye off simply living my life out the way I want to. So I have decided along with Nock, to live superfluously. That means, in other words, living my life regardless of how others might frame, interpret, critique, or moralize about it. Such a letting-go process is not easy. And it’s a process that I’ve been engaged with for a number of years now. So it’s becoming easier. In all the arenas I mentioned, I believe we are at a crisis moment. Quite frankly, I think we’re in for some dark times ahead of us. And I think we’re all going to have to find our way of relating to those with whom we disagree, and carving our paths regardless of how others might view us. That’s never an easy task, but one I think life calls us to do. I would get into what I mean by “dark times”, but such prognostication would take the blog off track and spoil its otherwise lightheartedness. So for now, no reason to get excited. (Anybody know the song that line came from? Hint: Jimi Hendrix did not write the song.)

The Arts

I don’t consider myself an artist. I wish I could on rather a selfish note. A couple of years ago, I self-published, under the name, V. Jones,  a book of short stories called, Echoes. No one is knocking down the door to get to it. But that’s okay. I hope this fall, speaking of new avenues, to publish a book of poetry. Nonetheless, I thoroughly enjoy the arts – cinema, literature, music, painting, photography, and all that one can experience. So one of the roads I want to take, given the new time I have on my hands, is the exploration of the arts, perhaps reaching for amateur-status in an area, and writing about ideas behind the creativity that artists experience. Several of my blogs have already covered topics of authors who have impacted me, books that have shaped my worldview, and reviews of books I think are important reads right now. I want to continue those endeavors, and open up possibilities for me there as well. By the way, regarding my forthcoming poetry, I stumbled across an interesting quote from a great poet that gives me some hope: “Minor poets emulate; great poets steal.” Nothing wrong with aspiring to greatness. (Anybody know which poet said that? Hint: He wrote a poem that was a famous Lovesong.)

Traveling

Everyone who retires says, “I want to travel more.” Well, I want to travel more. It’s not that academia didn’t afford me the time and support to travel to workshops, conferences, and more. I’ve visited from Palm Springs, CA to Cape Cod, and places in between, lived in the Midwest for five years, and had a seventeen-day stay in Italy and Sicily. But there’s more I want to do. And on top of that, I want to write about it, of course. Visiting and learning about new places is always an exciting way to broaden one’s perspective, for sure. There are trips I would love to do that make up my bucket list, such as, The Cross-Continental Train Ride across Canada, a visit to the Painted Desert, Petrified Forest, and Grand Canyon. So bucket lists are definitely part of this phase of life. I’ve spent many years living in the world of ideas. And the one thing I don’t want to happen is to live life in an abstraction. The concrete highway is where I want to feel my feet. So I’m looking forward to this phase of life I’ve entered, all that it will bring, and how any of that might show up on this blog. So I’m going to get my motor running. (I’ve come full circle, and back to that one. Anybody figure it out yet?)  Full circle means it’s time to conclude this essay.

Conclusion

Not bad, for a meandering essay, when I had no idea what this month’s blog would be about. Call it an accidental celebration of a year anniversary. But I hope readers who cross its page will find food for thought, but more than anything, find some enjoyment, and a few chuckles as well. Here’s to the second year of blogging. (And that’s not from a poem, a song, nor a movie.)

John V. Jones, Jr, Ph.D., LPC-S /August 14, 2014

General Essay

[Key Words: change; human change processes; theories of change; mindfulness; neuroscience]

Introduction

Everyone who is a Trekky fan remembers the opening to the 1960’s television extravaganza, Star Trek, in which the narrator boldly proclaims space as the final frontier. At the time that television show premiered, we had yet to land a man on the moon. In the 21st Century now, although far from finished, we have explored space in ways only imagined in the 1960’s. Likewise, from Sir Arthur Evans on, we have dug through the ages of the earth’s core to explore our archaeological and geological pasts. And with the adventurous spirit of Jacque Cousteau, we have descended to the the depths of the ocean and continue to explore that unknown region as well. I would like to pose a new possible region of exploration, one that some people may think we have already figured out. With the emergence of cognitive science, neuroscience, and technologies that aid in our understanding of  our neurological system, we are now at the edge of a new frontier: human change processes. Our previous simple formulas that sought to explain humans change no longer appear to apply, given the new data that the neurosciences and brain technologies provide. Human change processes, a notion emphasized in research done by Michael Mahoney,  now appear more complex than we ever thought possible. The repercussions felt by such technologies will resound throughout several fields, including not only neuroscience and neurology, but also the philosophy of mind/body, and the science of human change processes, specifically psychotherapy.

Seeking to Understand Change

What is change? How do people change? What exactly changes when people do change? I would like to claim that I’m clearly and succinctly about to answer all these questions in the essay that follows. But forgive me if I don’t make such a fool of myself. I believe strongly in the idea that personal change is spiritual and mysterious in many ways, and that although the sciences can help us come to grips with important matters regarding human change, they cannot illumine the whole process. Because human change processes are still a frontier for discovery, change is a phenomenon to explore for the sake of adventure, about which to make guesses just for the fun of it, and for which to pretend we know what we’re really talking about so as to impress ourselves. So I’m going to have some fun and throw out some ideas regarding change for the sake of exploration and focus on an emerging view of change that a variety of practitioners, from psychotherapists and pastors to yoga instructors and meditation trainers are discussing today – mindfulness training.

Psychotherapy and Change

Psychotherapy is often about some form of change. People contact therapists, generally, to alter something going on in their lives – i.e. to make changes. They may desire their environment or the world around them to change. They may want other people to change. Or they may hope that they can bring about some kind of change in themselves. So the word, change, is packed with melded perceptions, ambiguous meanings, and even mysterious connotations. When we delve into and seek to clarify exactly what we mean by change, suddenly we encounter just how difficult it is to describe this human experience. But whether or not clients realize it, when they enter a counseling room, personal change is the territory onto which they have stepped. Rarely do people’s environments and relationships change unless personal change occurs as well.

Obviously, physical change is the easiest phenomenon to recognize, but when someone says, Bill is a different man, rarely are they referring to anything physical. Perhaps Bill’s core values have changed. Maybe it’s his overall demeanor that’s different. Or it could be his emotional make up, or his modus operandi for engaging life. Somehow, it’s clear that Bill is not the same person he used to be. When people talk to Bill now, they are acutely aware that it is not the same Bill with whom they used to converse. But if Bill, indeed, has changed, what exactly is the difference? And how did such a difference come about?

Conceptualizations of Change

For centuries, philosophers, scientists, spiritualists, and religionists have theorized about the phenomenon and experience of human change. In the field of psychotherapy alone, we encounter a plethora of theories about what change is, and how personal change comes about. In this essay, I’m going to explore human change as a mystery, without any promise that I’m going to clarify much at all. Although I promise no clear-cut answers or foregone conclusions regarding change, I do recognize that one’s view of change is premised on one’s view of human nature. My personal bias or leaning is toward an understanding of change that proposes some type of spirit/mind/body interaction. I also believe that our lived-experience allows us to make a distinction between minor and major, or superficial and deep change. Such a distinction is theorized in a number of ways. Moreover, I believe we can understand change only in holistic terms.

Theories of Change: A Quick Overview: The First & Second Forces

Psychotherapy formally began in the 19th Century, although human beings have explored the notion of the psyche and spirit for centuries, dating back before Biblical and Greco-Roman times. Likewise, traditions in the East exploring the notion of change date back centuries. But what some have designated as the first two forces of psychotherapy, psychodynamic and behavioristic, had their beginnings in the 19th Century with the work of Sigmund Freud and Ivan Pavlov. For decades these two schools of therapy offered contrasting views of human nature and change. For the psychoanalytic and psychodynamic theorizers and practitioners, people must undergo deep intra-psychic restructuring for long-lasting change to occur. Another way to put it is that an individual’s personality must change although defining what is meant by personality is not an easy task. In contrast, the behaviorists, following Pavlov, and culminating in the 1950’s and 1960’s with the work of B.F. Skinner, sought to simplify the notion of change. If people change their behavior, then they have changed. Both of these schools of therapy generated methodologies and technologies they used to put to work their respective theories of change.

The Third Force

In the late 1950’s and throughout the 1960’s into the 1970’s, what was called the third force in psychology emerged, a school of thought called by a variety of names – phenomenological, Rogerian, existential, and humanistic among others. People such as Rollo May, Viktor Frankl, Irvin Yalom, Carl Rogers, and more recently, Emmy van Deurzen explicated the multifarious theoretical foundations of this school. Their understanding of human nature countered both the psychodynamic and behavioral schools, which led to their name of the third force. Emphases, such as human-beings-in-context, enduring suffering and conflict, values clarification, personal meaning, and self-actualization became some of the major themes of this school, with each theorist focusing on a particular theme or set of themes. This third force also emphasized the place of the human will, values, and spirituality in contrast with the more deterministic viewpoints of the first two schools. Human change came about when people explored who they are, who they wanted to be, and what values they decided to own for themselves. This school challenged people to decide for themselves what they valued, and how they wanted to live.

Evolutions and Permutations

The above description of the three forces of psychotherapy is a necessary brief and over-simplified one. There are a number of permutations in thought, evolution of ideas, and continued research in a variety of fields that have continued to address human change. The behaviorists school, for example, through research in cognitive science, cognitive psychology, and Artificial Intelligence evolved into the cognitive-behavioral school (CBT), emphasizing that human change involves a change in one’s belief structures. Major change comes about when people alter their core beliefs. CBT is a major force in the field today with prolific research in the treatment of psychological disorders. And CBT has evolved with the development of what is called the third wave of cognitive and behavioral approaches (touched upon below). Likewise, there are a variety of psychoanalytic and psychodynamic schools that have been influenced by neuroscience and studies in human development and attachment.

And So It Continues: The Fourth Force

Psychotherapy has now witnessed  the evolution of what can be considered a fourth force in psychology: the postmodern school. This school of thought, emerging from such philosophies as deconstruction, has sought to alter the power in therapy, giving prominence to the client. Its philosophical foundations also run counter to the medical model exercised in the psychoanalytic and cognitive behavioral schools. Its relationship to the DSM-V is cautious at best, antagonistic at worse. Although it runs counter to much of what has preceded it, we are seeing now an incorporation of postmodern thought in other schools. Lacan in psychoanalysis and the cognitive constructivism of Michael Mahoney are such two examples. The school is likewise multifarious, given rise to such approaches as constructivism, social constructionism, and narrative therapies. And so it continues.

Mindfulness as a Counter to Technologies of Change

Some Caution

All these schools of thought, individual theorists within each school, have their own take on human change, what it is, and how it occurs. Not only will I not enter the debates here, but also I’ve experienced that the debates can be rather divisive, fruitless, and ultimately pointless. Although I lean more toward the third force with some smatterings of the fourth, and some residuals of the first two, I do not believe any one school of thought has the corner on the truth. I tend to agree with Karl Popper – let’s become more enamored with what we don’t know rather than with what think we know. Returning to the beginning of this essay, for me the notion of human change, particularly revolutionary personal change, is a rather spiritual, mysterious, awe-inspiring experience. Having said that, I would like to simply throw out an idea for possible brainstorming and exploration. A view of change has emerged that, paradoxically, tends to focus less on trying to change, and more on learning to cope, which in some unquantified way ultimately leads to change.

Mindfulness

As I stated above, my personal view of change, although far from clear in my own thinking, involves some type of spiritual/mental/physical interaction. I believe we are holistic beings, and we need a conceptualization of change that goes beyond mere techniques in therapy – technologies of change. Mindfulness approaches have emerged in the field of therapy from Eastern traditions, particularly Zen and other forms of Buddhism. (I am neither a Zen nor any form of Buddhist.) A mindfulness approach has presented itself as possible foundation on which all the schools of thought can rest. From my perspective, it is spiritual in nature. The question emerges: Might mindfulness be a unifying force to many of the school or therapy wars that the field has had to endure? I personally believe that mindfulness offers something valuable that can be integrated with a variety of conceptualizations of human nature. Mindfulness has already influenced all four forces on some level. Much of existential thought meshes well with mindfulness. Additionally, its impact has been felt in the cognitive-behavioral school in the form of what is called the third wave of that school, seen in the development of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), and Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT). Several postmodern approaches have sought to incorporate mindfulness along holistic lines of mind/body, drawing on the work of Daniel Siegel. Neuroscience has indicated that mindfulness practices can alter brain structure and increase healthy brain functioning. Once again, at the risk of over-simplifying, mindfulness approaches basically work with people to change their attitude and relationship to the conflicts and suffering they undergo. For me personally, unlike some of the Eastern thinking that holds suffering is illusionary, I believe suffering is very real and realistically and holistically painful, influencing spiritual, mental, and physical levels.

The Quick Fix

I also believe, however, we live in an age of the quick fix. We want a pill to make us feel better – NOW. We ask therapists, doctors, pastors, and politicians to end our suffering – ASAP. What mindfulness perspectives can possibly bring to the table is the importance of slowing down, reflecting, taking stock, and learning to cope with what we are experiencing – and if possible, to find meaning in such experiences. Such a view integrates with my Christian worldview, and I find it workable with the way I want to engage living. Particularly, third wave approaches, such as ACT, address the importance of clarifying values and making a commitment to align our lives with values we claim to hold. Again, what mindfulness brings to the table is a counter attitude that says, as we clarify who we are, what we believe, and how we want to live, then we will be more able to take on the real difficulties in life that come our way. Such difficulties are not necessarily resolved quickly, and we simply cannot avoid them. Mindfulness does not say to us to give in to the difficulties of life, but that when they come, not to avoid them in ways that prevent us from working through them.

Conclusion

The above discussion, for sure, is an over-simplication of the major forces and ideas I have sought to merely touch upon. There are numerous schools of thought, conceptualizations, and research from a variety of angles presently underway on human change. But the one thing I believe we do face in this culture is the idea of the quick fix. I, too, am susceptible and have succumbed to it too many times. We are an over-medicated society, which has raised healthcare in terms of the medical model to the level of an altar at which we grasp for hope and meaning. Perhaps it’s time to look at a different angle on how to work through and find meaning in the way we relate to and face our struggles in living. Perhaps a mindful way of living can help us do that. And as we find ways through our values to face our personal difficulties, maybe we will glean a little more understanding of the nature of what it takes to be human and experience personal change.

John V. Jones, Jr., Ph.D., LPC-S/May 14, 2014

GENERAL ESSAY