Introduction

As 2015 comes to a close, I’m going Lite for the final Blog this year. I simply want to address this time of year, a way I’ve found to avoid the hype of the “holidays”, and to encourage those who feel the need to slow down, be still, and who desire to truly enjoy the Spirit of Christmas. I love the Christmas Season, yet I detest the hype and excessive materialism that come with it. There’s a feel good in the air that comes with Christmas as well, but I think at times you have to cut through a lot of nonsense to get to and embrace it. I believe that’s getting more and more difficult to accomplish these days. Having been blessed with loving and wonderful parents, I’m old school because during the Christmas Season, we put on the hot chocolate, decorated the tree, and listened to Bing Crosby records. We put the gifts under the tree, dreading the day we would have to dismantle it and say good-bye to the Christmas Season for another year. While I enjoyed shopping with mom, I never felt like we got caught up in the hustle-and-bustle that can wipe out what the time of year is truly about. There are a multitude of good ways to avoid the crass materialism that can quite frankly make this time of year ugly – think of financial anxieties, keeping on top of every new gadget that comes available, not to mention the exponential increase in highway traffic. It may seem impossible, but there are a multitude of good ways to circumvent all the nonsense thrown at us during this time of year. Good budgeting, taking more time with family, avoid the rush hours of shopping madness, and finding ways to slow down, embrace simplicity, enjoy solitude and quietness are a few remedies that come to mind for me. It’s really not all that difficult to remain far from the madding crowd. Yet we simply tend not to search for ways to separate from the craziness. For this article, I want to focus on solitude and quiet.

Solitude & Quiet in a Fast-Paced Culture

Solitude and quiet have taken a hit to the chin these days in a politicized culture that has come to view relationship as the core of everything, has propagandized group think to the extent that it has become a new religion, and has diagnosed or caricatured those who are not so comfortable with sacrosanct group think as social phobics, bathed in snobbery, or just downright selfishness. If you like your alone time, then something is wrong with you. The task at hand, it seems, is to address what solitude is, as well as what it is not. I love my alone time. I value and guard it with extreme prejudice. To some degree, much more than other people I know, I consider myself a loner, thereby creating more solitude for myself than others might desire. Each person has to figure how much solitude he or she needs. Solitude does not mean, however, disliking other people or devaluing relationships. It simple means that one values what can be garnered during quiet and reflective times. Such contemplative times allow one to slow down, gear the pace of life down to a reasonable speed, and reflect on what is truly valuable. I’m not sure our culture places a value on solitude, yet I believe it’s an important remedy to counter the hectic way of living that can come with our fast-paced society in an age that must find ways to deal with rapid advances of technology, global connections, and exponential increases in new knowledge. All these advances can be something valuable to us all, yet they can also create a maddening pace of existence. Solitude and quiet come as part of a contemplative way of living. I believe time for contemplation in life is important, and it does not discount or negate the importance of being active toward life. Indeed, contemplation sets the foundation for me to engage living and all it involves, including work, colleagues, friendships, and loved ones. Rather than discounting relationships, our solitude and alone time can help us more fully engage them. Solitude and quiet does not mean that one turns into a monk, anchorite, or troglodyte. I’m not saying that the remedy of solitude and quiet entails isolation and becoming ensconced in the life of a hermit. Simply find some time that is right for you, that allows you to slow down the pace, reflect on what is important, get things aligned so that you can engage what life throws at you and all of us. Although some people love their solitude and alone time, others fear it for various reasons. Think of what it must be like to fear being alone with oneself.

When I get alone, sometimes I spend my time with a book. Other times, I might listen to some jazz, my John Coltrane station on Pandora, for instance. And then still other times, I want complete quiet. Early in the morning or late at night are good times for me. The traffic in Austin, Texas is already a nightmare, but at this time of year it is exponentially terrible. Sometimes I can see the hectic, crazed, and distorted looks on people’s faces as they drive and go about their business in places like grocery stores, restaurants or gift shops. My own take is that we turn this time of season into the madness it is, rather than the thankful time is should be, because of conformity and group think, rather than being centered in who we are and knowing what we truly value. My take on solitude and quiet is a thought. Solitude and quiet are part of what historically have been called the spiritual disciplines. These are disciplines that can help us more readily engage a time of year that celebrates spirituality. Hopefully it can be of encouragement to those of you who want to see this time disconnect from the insanity we create keeping in pace with the madding crowd.

Conclusion

That madding crowd is all around us. We can easily become part of it. Yet it’s not that difficult to disconnect from it if we put a little effort toward that goal. Some simple time alone can take the sting out of what the culture throws at us. Turn of the TV, block out the noise, and shut down the computer – after you have read this blog :). Get alone with yourself, reflect on what is truly important and valuable to you, and find more ways to build whatever that is into your day-to-day living.

I hope the year closes down in a good way for you. To those of you who have crossed the path of this blog, Merry Christmas to you all.

John V. Jones, Jr., PhD, LPC-S/December 14, 2015

GENERAL ESSAY

Introduction

One day last week, unfortunately, an individual lost his life in a fatal car crash on the street where I live. The wreck involved the taking down of a power pole, and most people on my street, including the entire complex in which my condominium is located, were without power. The power outage was short-lived, lasting nearly 90 minutes. In an all-electric home the loss of power meant I had no lights, no fridge, no AC, no TV, and, of course, no Internet. Several of us actually walked outside to check if other people had power. An interesting phenomena occurred. I began talking to people whom I hadn’t even met in the number of years I’ve lived in the complex. Of course, none of us knew what had happened, so we were not aware that someone had lost his life. We just knew we were without power. On reflection, I wonder if we learned anything once we knew the entire story. Reflection is an interesting word, and an experience that involves more than our simply moving through life everyday without knowing what life entails.

Last month’s blog article, The Call of the Spiritual Disciplines, addressed the overwhelming amount of information that stands at our disposal via the technology age in which we exist. People tend to voice two common responses to this reality that comes at us from what is now referred to as the WEB. Some view it as a drain on our mind, time, and relationships, and tend to designate the information age as downright evil. One is reminded of the reactions of the Luddites to the industrial age. Others view it as a scientific marvel (which it is) that will bring peace and prosperity to all and save us from ourselves (which it will not). Those in the former camp want to step into a time machine and go back to the good ol’ days, whatever that mean; while those in the latter camp view science as mankind’s savior. Personally, I do not want to sound the war drum of either camp. As I stated in last month’s article, I’m thankful for my computer, the Internet, and would not want to face life  without modern technology for the most part.

Anxiety, as a part of human living, has most likely increased, however, due to the Information Age. Daily we are faced with the onslaught of more information than we can handle. We are given the task to process and transform that information into practical knowledge, that in turn, can be transformed into personal wisdom, if we wish to accomplish such a task. Yet how we accomplish such a task depends on how we take our stance towards the age in which we stand. As in any human endeavor, we are faced with our finitude and limitations when we realize that massive amounts of information do not help us know it all. We hit the wall of our limitation by the sheer amount of information that it lies at our fingertips. Not only can we not know it all, but also, we can’t even encounter it all. Constantly we hear people voice opinions on what they read on the WEB. Is the information reliable? Did they check their facts via several sources? Did they cherry pick the information they want to back up something they already believe? On and on these questions can haunt us – not only about other people’s use of the WEB, but also our own.

Personally, I believe taking on the Information Age, rather than calling for an end to information and technology and our retreating back in time, instead calls on us more than ever to seek wisdom in how we go about living. Mountains of information do not put an end to the need of our living wisely; it calls on us to be that much wiser in terms of how we even confront the information available to us. One of the spiritual disciplines I touched upon in last month’s blog involves the discipline of study. It is not the only discipline that can help us become wise, but it’s an important one. What does the discipline of study entail?

A Contemplative Approach to Life

Slow down you movin’ too fast/you gotta make the morning last .  .  . begins Paul Simon’s 59th Street Bridge Song, most likely known by most as, Feelin’ Groovy. One of the most onerous mistakes about the contemplative life is the notion that such a life entails simply sitting around contemplating, but never acting. Nothing could be further from the truth. An individual who takes a contemplative approach to life, reflects in order to act, but to act wisely as possible. I, for one, am thankful for the Information Age and all it provides us for which to make decisions. Yet there comes a point where we have to know the limit on all the information we can garner, process, and use for fruitful living. More than ever, the Information Age calls on us to embrace a more contemplative approach to life. The stream of information available to us is increasing everyday with no indication that its flood is slowing down; but human beings can move and process only so fast. As useful and beneficial as it is in doing things for us, the one thing that technology can do to us is separate us from our heart and soul of what it is to be human so we can say to ourselves enough is enough. There comes a time to slow down, stop, reflect, and then decide what course of action to take. There is never enough information; we can always believe and feel we need more. But for certain, there can be too much information that keeps us in a quicksand of data out of which we can’t wade to get onto the solid ground of living.

Richard Foster, in his book, Celebration of Discipline, discusses what through the centuries contemplatives called the spiritual disciplines. One such discipline he discusses is the discipline of study. Obviously, when we think of studying, we think of books and written information. And this form of information is one the main objects of study. According to Foster, however, there are several objects of study. We can also study nature via simple observation. Paul Simon’s simple little tune speaks of watching the flowers grow. We can find that time in our daily lives – or carve it out if need be – to slow down and simply encounter what is. We can study ourselves, becoming aware of what our feelings and mood swings mean. What controls us and our moods? What do our actions tend to claim we value? Are we aware of our values? We can study institutions and cultures, ponder the current happenings of our day, compare our personal values to what appear to be cultural values that perhaps we have inculcated. We can study human relationships, become attentive to various kinds of relationships that make up our lives, and reflect on what we value about relationships. There are a myriad of things, in addition to books, that provide information for us to contemplate and with which to come to terms.

No doubt, in the Information Age, our primary focus becomes information from books, or these days, the WEB. And we definitely need a disciplined approach to such vast amounts of information calling for our attention. Foster delineates four steps in the discipline of study: repetition, concentration, comprehension, and reflection. These four steps make up the how of the discipline of study. Even more, I appreciate Foster’s explanation of the what of study when he describes the discipline as careful attention to reality. And the why of study falls in line with the overall purpose of the spiritual disciplines, which Foster claims is the total transformation of the person. In this day of information overload, we need to take a stand that we, in being human, must maintain who we are and define how technology fits into who we are, rather than letting technology define who and what we are.

Repetition

Repetition, as one part of the discipline of study, is about ingraining habits. Personally, I know that because I love to read, I can fall into the bad habit of reading for merely amassing information, believing that the mere reading of anything is the my ultimate goal, rather than reflecting on what I have read. Likewise, reading something repetitively slows one down so that the information begins to sink in, and the habit of reading in a disciplined manner begins to take shape. The act of repetition focuses the mind on what is being read again and again. In terms of a spiritual discipline, such an act is seen throughout the centuries in monasteries, temples, and other venues of retreat where individuals tend to take time to study and reflect on anything. Monks and others who sought a contemplative life utilized repetitive reading through what they called Lectio Divina, or divine reading. Christian writer, James Sire, has written a work that addresses this form of reading, entitled How to Read Slowly. The spiritual exercise of Lectio Divina involves reading a passage of a sacred text over and over until one’s mind formed around it in a way that the reading became part of one’s soul. Hence, the information being read was viewed as something that had to become part of one’s soul, spirit, – life. It also involved slow reading. I realize such an activity is not one we can choose to do in all occasions and circumstances because of the demands of work, different goals, and other deadlines in this modern age. I do believe, however, it is an activity that needs to be worked back into our daily routines to help us slow down, contemplate, and reflect before making major decisions and taking action.

Concentration

Building on repetition, concentration as a step in the discipline of study, centers the mind, focusing one’s attention on what one is studying. Science has shown us what people within spiritual enclaves have experientially known for centuries: the mind possesses an incredible power to concentrate. Yet we have to train our minds to develop such an ability. Concentration offers one what Foster calls singleness of purpose, a centering of the mind, or what we tend to call focus. As I stated above, many times I find myself reading to be reading, to get done with the task of reading, but without focusing on what I’m reading. Repetition and concentration can help us accomplish a fuller use of our reading ability, enriching what we read and study. I agree with Foster that we live in our culture that does not value concentration. That fact combined with the waves of information that we face everyday turns our personal worlds into a mental chaos. I love to read, but sometimes I find myself lost, staring at my bookcase, wondering what I should read, lacking any sense of order as to what I’m trying to accomplish in my own living. True concentration may have become a lost art in our culture. The very contexts in which we live wages a war with our need to live contemplatively.

Comprehension

Comprehension is simply understanding what we are studying. We arrive at comprehension through focusing our mind repeatedly, centering our mind and attention on our study, and eventually, in coming to understand what we are studying, we arrive at a new level of comprehension. How many times might we have read something, even studied it to some extent, but feel we have not reached a new level of understanding? With repetition and concentration, we can read something over and over, and then experience that quantum leap of suddenly getting at what something means. Some people call such an aha experience an epiphany that places one on a new level of personal growth and freedom. Such a level of understanding is what we tend to call insight or discernment that provides us with a truer perception of reality.

Reflection

One might think that comprehension is the final step in the discipline of study. As Foster states, however, one further step is necessary in rounding out this discipline: reflection. This step allows us to see the significance of what we are studying. Reflection allows us to ruminate on what we have read and studied. It rounds out our understanding, not only of what we’ve studied, but ourselves as well. Anything worth our study says something about us – why it is useful to us – why it is important to us – why it is meaningful to us. This final step gets at the impact of what the spiritual discipline of study does for us. As Foster states, the purpose of the spiritual disciplines is personal transformation. The discipline of study leads to our becoming wiser about the world, others, and ourselves. The accumulation of massive amounts of information does not equate with knowledge; nor does the spouting of what one knows regarding information equate to wisdom. The philosopher of science, Karl Popper, believed that we need to become more enamored with what we don’t know that with what we think we know. He basically embraced the notion that our ignorance is infinitely greater than our knowledge of things. Foster, likewise, states that the discipline of study requires humility. We come before something to study it, not because we are knowledgeable or wise, but because we seek knowledge and wisdom. If we are to take the time to carry on an in-depth study of anything, should we forsake this final step in the discipline of study to ascertain the significance of what it is we study?

Conclusion

What I have explored on this monthly blog relates to counseling in many ways. I will let readers search that out for themselves. Importantly, I think what I’ve discussed here relates to much of living, and how we go about living. I want to add one caveat, however. If we’re going to reflect on the need to slow down, I do believe there are times to simply read for the purpose of enjoyment, enrichment, and the experience of another person’s talent in writing. I think of reading poetry, a short story, or a novel. In this information age there’s a time to kick back. Everything we read is simply not about study. But I also believe that the habits we form can help us even make those times a more enriched experience.

In closing, I return to the experience that opened this blog article. The experience took me back to simpler times, growing up at a time when my family possessed no TV or AC, and of course it was before the time of personal computers. I remember going outside to sit under a shade tree to get cool in the summers when I was out of school, and it actually worked. I also remember reading books under those shade trees, books with stories I remember to this day. As I’ve stated several times, I’m not a Luddite. I don’t own nor want to own a time machine. I value all that technology has brought our way. And technology is but one of the myriad of ways we can become lost to our being human and recognizing what is important in this life. Sometimes we just need to slow down, take a step back, focus, center, concentrate, and reflect – on all that is significant in our lives.

[Last month and this month’s blog article drew from the Christian author, Richard J. Foster. (Source: Foster, R. J. (1978). Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth. HarpCollins Publishers, San Francisco.)]

John V. Jones, Jr., Ph.D., LPC-S/September 14, 2015

GENERAL ESSAY

Introduction

No doubt it has been stated many times and in many ways, but bears repeating: we live in an information age. One might add a technological and information age. Research, marketing, articles, books, and more are available at the touch of a keyboard and click of a mouse. If someone from another universe were looking in on our societies across the globe, they might assume that we have a wealth of information that makes us more knowledgeable than any other time in history. And as history moves forward, we can only predict that onslaughts of technological innovation and massive amounts of information will continue to be at our beckon call.

But can we say all this information and knowledge have made us wiser?

First let me clarify, the last thing I am is a Luddite. I love technological advances. I like good automobiles, heat in the winter, and AC in the summer (I live in Texas for crying out loud!). I enjoy the internet and computer technology that allows even a lousy typist like myself to type an apparent flawless document without any of you who might be reading this blog knowing how many typographical miscues I’ve made. I also like the medical advances we’ve achieved. Even back in the dark ages, 1958, when I was in the fifth grade, I underwent an appendectomy. Not hardly a century before that time acute appendicitis like I experienced was a death knell for people. So no, I’m not a Luddite by any stretch of the imagination.

Spiritual Disciplines & Wisdom

Richard J. Foster, some years ago, authored a book entitled Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth. Foster approaches his work and understanding of spiritual disciplines from a Christian worldview, one I share. But I’m going to discuss spiritual disciplines in a way that I hope interests anyone in this topic. Foster discusses twelve disciplines. Intermittently over the next couple of years, I might decide to focus on any one of those disciplines as a topic for this blog. For this month’s entry, I want to simply provide an introduction to Foster’s discussion with the hope that, regardless of one’s worldview, we might understand why our age calls for what Foster believes to contribute to a deepening of life, and what the Psalms speak of as deep calling to deep. [Next month’s blog will focus on what Foster’s discussion of the discipline of study because, given our information and technological age, it is important, I believe, to reflect on how we approach and deal with such massive amounts of material at our fingertips.]

The Disciplined Life as a Door to Liberation

Foster describes the spiritual disciplines as a door to liberation. He strongly believes that people need to develop the skills, for lack of a better word, to meditate, to worship, to think. Presently, we are living in a time where meditation, mindfulness, and spiritual values are once again coming to the forefront of people’s thinking. I am witness to this in the field of counseling, where research in mindfulness has exploded in at least the last decade, if not the last 20 years. I remember a time when spirituality was a topic considered somewhat of a taboo in counseling. Likewise, so-called neutral-value counseling was considered to be the more ethical stance of the therapist. Although an ethical counselor does not seek to proselytize clients, we recognize today that both clients and therapists hold values that they bring into the counseling room, including spiritual ones. From Foster’s perspective, one of the first things that the spiritual disciplines liberate us from is our own shallowness. He speaks to a concern that many people who practice mindfulness recognize about our culture when he says, Superficiality is the curse of our age. The doctrine of instant gratification is a primary spiritual problem. He adds that we live in a materialistic age, one in which we simply lack the knowledge of how to go about exploring our inward lives. Interesting notion indeed, given we live in such an information age.

A second phenomenon from which the disciplines can help as escape entails our own ingrained habits. Think of the things that might contribute to one being trapped in a superficial existence. Shopping, spending, eating, watching television – all come to mind. Not that these things, in-and-of-themselves are totally rotten, but they are the kinds of things that become a concern based on to what degree we let them rule our lives. To what things do we turn readily and repeatedly when we get bored with day-to-day routines that make up life? Breaking some of these habits requires that we develop other habits that take us deeper into an understanding of what it is to live. Foster makes no bones about it; spiritual disciplines call for deep people. He dose not mean by this, gifted intelligent people, or those who love to sit around all day reading philosophy. Anyone can benefit from the spiritual disciplines in respect to his or her own path.

But Foster offers a counterbalancing caution: developing the habit of discipline does not mean we turn the practice of spiritual disciplines into a rule-laden should or must, what Foster calls a law. The research into mindfulness exercises addresses the same phenomenon. If we try too hard to control being mindful, we lose the experience of what it is to be mindful. The place of spiritual disciplines is to bring fulfillment (not just happiness) in living. The disciplines help us face the vicissitudes of life, much like some of the research into mindfulness and acceptance addresses. So here we are in this information age, flooded with knowledge, an age where possibly the new priesthood are the scientists themselves, some of whom willingly wear the robes. And we have these dialectical tensions between science and spirituality, our ignorance and understanding, and our knowledge and wisdom. How should we then live, as one theological thinker posed the question, in the face of today’s onslaught of information?

Conclusion

Foster’s work, Celebration of Discipline, is a call to deeper living. But the last thing we want to experience is our haughtiness and arrogance tied to our pride about being deep people. Such a mindset belies the notion of deepening whatsoever. Foster’s approach is most definitely spiritual and grace-oriented from the perspective of a Christian worldview. Spirituality is becoming a topic the globe over, as West meets East in terms of research into mindfulness, meditation, and the practice of certain disciplines. We are face-to-face with the age of information, science, and knowledge on the one hand, and an age seeking deeper understanding, wisdom, and spiritual transcendence on the other hand. How do we navigate the tensions of this existence? Next month, I will begin part of that dialogue with a focus on the what Foster describes as the spiritual disciplines of study.

John V. Jones, Jr., Ph.D./August 14, 2015

GENERAL ESSAY

Introduction

For real?

A website designed by a counselor posts an essay with the title, Art, Literature, and Life?

When I built this website, Contemplations, I wanted to open the foci of counseling to entail discussions to be not only about pathology, but also to be about life. After all, many clients enter counseling without diagnoses or even the need to be diagnosed. They walk into a counselor’s office because they struggle with everyday pressures of living and believe talking with a professional will help them someway in their struggles. And on what will these clients tend to focus: life goals, relationships, uncertainties, ambiguities, paradoxes, and yes, even mysteries of life, to name a few. Sound familiar? At one time or another – perhaps multiple times – these are those muggy, foggy, and misty experiences of living we all encounter. Yes, I believe counseling is about life. And so is meaningful art. And in reflecting on life, meaningful art can teach us things about how people face and deal with such struggles. [Okay, what is good art? I’m going to let academes and literary critics deal with that.] For me, I value art that tends to delve into the meatier things of living, and at the same time takes me into arenas and experiences that I haven’t previously considered. Such art can be as simple as a three line Haiku. In painting, anything from classicism to impressionism, neo-impressionism, surrealism, abstract and hyperrealism can bring one into a confrontation with existence. Novels from Moby Dick and Call of the Wild to The Unbearable Lightness of Being can bring one face-to-face with the vicissitudes of life. I believe all good art comments in some way about life – painting, drawing, photography, literature, just to name a few. And all good literature addresses themes about life – novels, short stories, essays, plays, and poetry.

Poetry as Commentary on Life

In terms of literature, I want to focus on poetry in this essay. Recently, I have become an avid reader of poetry, about which I claim no expertise. So I’m simply going to talk about what impacts me through my reading. And by that, I don’t mean what impacts me as a counselor. Counseling is something I do. Obviously, in as much as I experience any form of art in an enriching way, it will inform what I do. But much beyond that, it informs me about life. So what follows is a short list of poets and some of their works that readers can access, and experience for themselves what poets and their art of poetry have to offer. I’m also going to draw on a work I just finished reading by Jane Hirshfield, Ten Windows: How Great Poems Transform the World. I promise lovers of poetry that if you read her work, you’ll go back to it time and again. I wish I could discuss poetry like her, but readers will just have to cope with my meanderings in this essay.

Broad versus Concrete

I like the concrete experiences that poetry often supplies. Like various painters, some poets can paint with broad strokes, such as the metaphysical poets, many of the Romantics, and the classicists. Although poems such as T. S. Eliot’s The Wasteland is most definitely worth the study, the reader is taken into the metaphysical and mythological rendering of a decaying world. Eliot’s poem is worth the effort and what it calls for the reader to confront. However, I find myself returning again and again to Eliot’s, The Hollow Men, more so than to The Wasteland. It calls readers to an experience of one’s hollowness that tends to reflect many people’s experience with our modern age.

I experience the same with the Romantics. Many of their poems are long and involved, such as Wordsworth’s The Prelude. Again, such a poem is well-worth the study since Wordsworth is considered to have ushered in the style of Romantic poetry, but I find myself drawn more to his shorter poems, such as I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud. Likewise, in sitting down with the works of Matthew Arnold, I prefer such poems as Dover Beach and The Buried Life. Wordsworth’s Cloud and these latter two by Arnold are reflective, somewhat melancholy, and not necessarily final pronouncements on anything. They are open-ended, somewhat ambiguous, and leave readers with enough uncertainty that they are left to reflect on the poems again and again. For this reason, I can read John Keats’ Odes and never tire of them, particularly, Ode to Nightingale. In reading Keats’ Odes, I feel that I’m taken on a trip into the labyrinth of the poet’s mind and experience, yet the trip is also through my mind and experience. And of course the brooding poems of Edgar Alan Poe are always a lot of fun. Who hasn’t recited, once upon a midnight dreary, and wondered exactly what is Poe getting at here?

Contemporary Poets

But alas, I think I must be a thoroughgoing modernist because the poets to whom I find myself returning over and over are those such as William Stafford, Robert Bly, Tom Hennen, Mary Oliver, Sharon Olds, Jane Hirshfield, Linda Gregg, Anna Akhmatova, Ezra Pound, Czeslaw Milosz, among others. The reason is the concreteness of experience in their poems along with the very things of living with which clients seek to grapple. Many of the poems written by these poets are not only concrete and succinct, but are ambiguous, paradoxical, leaving one with uncertainties and mysteries regarding this thing we call life. Take for example this short poem by Ezra Pound: And the days are not full enough/And they days are not full enough/And life slips by like a field mouse/Not shaking the grass. It’s not my purpose in this essay to explicate poems, but this is a poem that one can read again and again, probably experiencing it in different ways across time. It’s succinct declaration yet open-endedness and ambiguity makes it somewhat a mysterious poem.

Through his life as a poet, Czeslaw Milosz came to value poems that he identified as concrete and realist. The term realist is a loaded one, but what he meant by it was that he was drawn to poetry that provides a succinct description of an experience, yet speaks to a life theme that takes one beyond the particular description. The titles of many of his poems, such as The Road, The Gate, The Porch, The Stairs, or The Dining Room reflect the concreteness of his work, yet these poems are not merely about a road, a gate, or a dining room. Take for example his poem, Window, which reads: I looked out the window at dawn and saw a young apple tree translucent in brightness/And when I looked out at dawn once again, an apple tree laden with fruit stood there/Many years had probably gone by but I remember nothing of what happened in my sleep. Again, this is a poem that one can ponder over and over, contemplating on what Milosz might be trying to get at in this description of a scene outside a window juxtaposed, in the last line, to his reflection on sleep and dreams.

Poetry covers the range of experiences that people encounter, the cycles of living, the raw experiences of human love and depravity, war and death, or the fulfilling successes of living. Many of Czeslaw Milosz’s poems speak to his experience in Poland during and just after WW II, describing both Nazi and Soviet occupation of his homeland. His contemporary Polish friend, Wislawa Symborska, wrote of similar experiences. The novelist and poet Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn and poet Anna Akhmatova wrote of their experiences under the Soviet regime. These four artists demonstrate that poetry can speak to horrendous and horrific experiences, displaying courage, survival, and ways individuals can face vicissitudes of life that they never would have guessed or imagined would come their way. Mary Howe, for example, authored a book of poetry generated by her experience of losing her brother to Aids. Hence, poetry portrays human drama in all its emotions, experiences, successes, and failures. Although Solzhenitsyn and Akhmatova make their pronouncements on the Soviet regime, their writings take readers into their experiences, showing what can be accomplished, even in the face of the unknown that never clearly becomes known, the incomprehensible that never becomes totally fathomed.

Haiku: Ancient Yet Modern

In terms of succinct, concrete poems that summon themes of life, one cannot do better than the ancient form of poetry designated as Haiku. In the English language, they are usually rendered as three line poems, sometimes with a formula of 5/7/5 syllable count for each respective line; however, not all translated Haiku poems fit this formula. The Haiku form is valued for its brevity and particularity, yet transcendent message it seeks to access. One has to wrestle with the juxtaposition of descriptions, which usually speak to the various cycles of life – e.g. spring, summer, fall, and winter, or birth, living, and dying. Modernists readily seize upon this form poetry, and although dating back centuries, many modernist poets today try their hand at Haiku. As in Jane Hirshfield’s case, they may translate Haiku into modern languages. Basho is considered the master of Haiku. Hirshfield, in her book about the power of poetry to transform, Ten Windows, devotes an entire chapter to Haiku, Basho, and other Haiku poets. She describes Haiku as seeing through words, and indeed many view poetry as painting with words. In this Haiku for example, though succinctly depicting a scene, Basho writes that it is also describes what he feels in the moment: this road/through autumn nightfall/no one walks it. So there is something about a road on an autumn evening, with no one traveling it, that describes how he feels at the moment of observing the scene. So as readers, we are left to ponder what we might feel with such a scene, or how indeed we have felt if we recall certain familiar places and their surroundings. However, Basho gives no definitive emotion that should accompany the poem – is it loneliness, peaceful solitude, or a combination of several feelings?

Conclusion

In her work, Ten Windows, Jane Hirshfield discusses the power of poetry to transform our world via ambiguity, mystery, paradox, and uncertainty. These experiences are the very ones that many clients bring to therapy, hoping for some resolution or some form of finality that clears everything up for them. Yet many times, we simply have to embrace – radically accept – that these experiences repeat themselves in our lives over and over. Yes, I think poetry can transform our world, not necessarily by doling out pat answers for us, but by bringing us into confrontation with life’s many vagaries and calling us to understand that much of living entails, not a final resting place, but mutability.

John V. Jones, Jr., Ph.D./July 14, 2015

GENERAL ESSAY

Introduction

Presently, I have some relatives and know some close friends, as well as relatives of close friends, who are going through what may be called some dark times. For some reason, there seems to be an epidemic of hard times. And quite frankly, apart from platitudes, I don’t know what to say to them for fear of either discounting their present experience or uttering some meaningless well-intentioned but, nonetheless, nonsensical, shallow nothing.

These days I’ve also embarked upon a personal journey of reading and writing poetry. I believe the power of language to express our deepest concerns, fears, and emotions is an awesome one that we rarely, if ever, access. I’m reading through a collection of poems by the poet, William Stafford, entitled, The Darkness Around Us Is Deep. I would like to build off the poem from which that line comes, “A Ritual to Read Each Other”, and challenge any who stumble across this page to think about the notion that when our loved ones and friends are going through their dark night of the soul, there is no reason for us to fear making our signals clear to them. More than anyone else, I’m challenging myself as well.

I’m not claiming that we should know what to say, but instead, I’m challenging us – you and me – to reach down in our gut and simply not remain on a shallow level. The culture around us from TV and entertainment to politics and religion is growing more shallow each day. The darkness around us, is indeed, deep.

Focus

I recently had a conversation with a close friend, both of us Christian, regarding the fact that when the dark of night falls, all trivialities fade away rather quickly, and what really matters in our living comes sharp into focus. What and who are of utmost importance in our lives emerge. It is okay to be human, and in the day-to-day workings of our lives, we can easily get lost in the unessentials as to who we really are. But we must be vigilant about not becoming so lost that we lose touch with what is important and real. When we encounter people in the midst of their dark night, the platitudes we may offer are more for our own comfort than theirs. False bromides, statements that resemble something lifted from a meme, or motivational speaker power speech come into play. Yet the question that comes to mind as my friend and I discussed is – what is real? Is God real, and is he here with me in this? The darkness around me now is real. A line that stands out in the first stanza of Stafford’s poem for me reads, . . . following the wrong god home we may miss our star. Who and what in the core of our being do we believe we are? How do we live it out in the light of day and in the darkest night? What to say to a friend: such darkness is scary as hell. The dark is real.

The Battle

When the dark of night falls, it is time to do battle. Darkness is something to fight, not something to which to surrender. The focus again is sharp, the battle lines drawn, and the knowledge that outcomes will involve a fight is real. Yet it is a fight in which people do not have to be alone. The power of language from friends, if words address what is real, can be felt and known. We don’t minimize the battle, we don’t meme away the significance of what is deeply true to us that now we must live out to its core. To do otherwise is living a lie. In his poem Stafford speaks of what he designates to be the root of all cruelty: to know what occurs but not recognize the fact. Why mince the words? Even if the words are, I don’t know what to say but I’m here, say them. And perhaps we can add, I know this battle is real.

Awaken

Poetry, and the power of words, can bring what is true to light. And where there is darkness there can be the light of day although we may not know now what that will be like. This is the power of the logos, and the Imago Dei in human beings. Yet what we call the arts today – TV, movies, music – for the most part are sucking the culture of any life blood it may have. Viktor Frankl, in the darkness of a Nazi concentration camp uttered the statement: It is not what we demand of life that matters, but what life demands of us. When the night comes, the depth we have will depend on the depths we’ve searched out. For me, personally, that’s a scary thought. Awaken. What does life call on us to do? From the core of who we are, how will we live out what we have searched for ourselves to be? In the last stanza of Stafford’s poem, a line reads, For it is important that awake people be awake. When the dark of night falls, it is then when the sharpest focus can come into vision, and the battle is seen for what it is – real.

Conclusion

What signals do we give our loved ones and friends when they are in their dark of night? What signals do we give ourselves in our darkest moments? The questions, the doubts, the fears, the hopes, the dreams, are all real. The culture around us, in all its religiosity, superstition, and political correctness will fail to embrace the depths of what we experience and need. Religiosity and superstition do not reveal spiritual truth; correctness is a guise for conformity that prevents us from knowing who we really are – what Stafford addresses in his poem as a pattern that others made that can come to prevail in the world. But the focus on all we value and hope for becomes sharp – even in the dark – because we can say it is real. There are things we can understand, things we can’t understand, and things we’re trying – seeking – to understand. This fact – this struggle – is what we can communicate to our loved ones, friends, and ourselves. Stafford’s poem reads in its closing:

the signals we give – yes or no, or maybe-

should be clear: the darkness around us is deep.

John V. Jones, Jr., Ph.D./June 14th, 2015

GENERAL ESSAY

Introduction

I’m in the process of writing some poetry that within the next month or so I would like to self-publish. I have already self-published a book of short stories, entitled Echoes, an endeavor that I thoroughly enjoyed. Having said that, I’m not close to being a renowned published author who has achieved any popularity whatsoever, and I most likely will never achieve such a status. So what I have to say about the writing life is rather personal, probably somewhat narrow, and not intended to be a statement based on expertise. In fact, quite opposite to all of that hoopla, I hope to encourage anyone who wants to write simply for the pleasure of it to not let the lack of popularity or notoriety prevent you from doing so. If you’re like me, such a thing may not even be your aim. Indeed, if you’re like most writers I have read who comment on their work, even well-known ones, such a thing was rarely their aim. From my perspective writing is difficult yet fun and fulfilling. And if you have the bug, push through your doubts, self-consciousness, and fears of sounding like a buffoon, and go after it. Along the way, I think the following tips can be helpful. I have gleaned these useful tidbits from reading others who write, so they are not original with me whatsoever.

Process over Product

Most likely we have have experienced somewhere along the way the onslaught of motivational speakers, dress-for-success encouragements, imagining-your-dream talks, and the power of positive thinking. Although I don’t want to rain on any of these parades, I have not approached the writing life through such venues; consequently, I would not encourage people to do so. But let me quickly add, such motivational callings and workshops have never appealed to me. I approach writing simply as an endeavor I want to try, and something I simply desire to do. I never viewed myself as possessing any innate talent, having something more grand to say than anyone else, and for sure never viewed myself as a natural. In fact, writing proved very difficult for me. As I look back on some of the earlier writing I did, it shows to be so sloppy and hackneyed that I’m embarrassed that I ever let anyone read it. So for those who want to pursue some personal goals in writing, I would first say, get into the process of writing. And don’t worry about having a finished product too quickly. I realized early on that when I said I wanted to be a writer, I was more enamored by the final goal of a finished piece than I was actually doing the work of writing. If you simply want to see your name of a book cover, I think you’ll find that such a goal will not work for you. For me personally, being a writer means enjoying writing rather than the final goal of a written piece. If you desire the product over the process of the work, I believe you’ll find that you complete your work too quickly, write sloppily, and do a poor job of checking your work. The more I began to write the short stories and poems I want to self-published, I found myself always pushing back the dates that I wanted to have them appear before the public. I just never feel like something is completely finished. Although such an attitude can prevent you from getting your work out, for the most part I think it’s a good thing that will keep you cautious and prevent you from presenting your work before its time. The writing life is about the work of writing rather than the goal of publishing.

It’s Not All Fun

Although the process of writing is enjoyable and fulfilling for the most part, there are times it is tedious. I fell into the funk just the other day of spending an inordinate amount of time on the finishing lines of a poem I’m writing. But was it really an inordinate amount of time? If I’m focused on the goal of finishing, I suppose it was. If I’m focused on writing the way I want to write, and experiencing that little click in my head that says, that’s it, then it’s not an inordinate amount of time at all. In fact, when it comes to time, I’m fairly certain there are no rules regarding good writing. I have found at times that a poem or a short story will write itself as some people have stated. Yet for me, that’s a rarity. Most of the time I get into a good start on something, and then I hit the proverbial wall. For me personally, the process of writing involves slowly chipping through that wall. Simply put, at times it can feel like a frustrating task when you realize that you have spent four hours on a half page of a short story or two lines of a poem. Yet in the process of writing, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Whether or not anyone else likes what I write, I sure as hell want to like what I write. The most important thing is not to let such slow progress discourage you. To be sure, there are those other times that I have sensed that I’ve been working on a piece for about thirty to forty-five minutes, looked up at the clock, and three or four hours have gone by somewhere. That’s when it’s fun. But get used to the idea that such flow doesn’t occur all the time.

Write  .  .  . Write  .  .  . Write

The process of writing involves just that – writing. I think a good goal is to get something down on paper or the computer screen everyday. Even if you don’t like what you write at first, get it down so that you can rework it. You may find as well that you will chuck every word of it into the trashcan. That’s not a loss; it’s progress. You have discovered what you don’t want, what doesn’t sound good to you, and what doesn’t work personally for you. You might also discover that certain times of the day are better for you to write than others. I tend to like early mornings or late nights when things are quiet and interruptions few. Find your sanctuary in terms of time and place and preserve it for yourself. Don’t answer the phone (it’s probably a telemarketer anyway), don’t check email, and for heaven’s sake, keep the TV and radio OFF. And then go to it: write .  .  . write .  .  . write. Work it, rework it, hone it, cut it, chuck what you don’t like, and bring that baby to life in its own time. Remember the process and don’t rush it. And all your work belongs to you; nobody else owns it, only you. At least that’s the case for the time being.

Read  ,  .  . Read  .  .  . Read

I’m not sure every writer would agree with this tidbit of info. But every writer I’ve read tends to say this. It for sure works for me. If you’re going to write short stories, read as many short stories as you can get your hands on. The same goes for novels and poetry. I mentioned that soon I want to self-publish some poetry. For the last couple of years, I have immersed myself in reading poetry, from the ancients to the moderns. I found that it is important for me to recognize in my reading what I really like, what strikes me and stays with me, and what moves me on an emotional level. Trying to figure out why certain literature strikes me in certain way proves to be allusive most of the time. All I can say is that, I like the way it’s written. Regarding poetry, I might simply say, I like the way it sounds, the way it looks on a page in terms of form, or the way the author uses words. If you want to try your hand at essays, read various collections of essays published across the decades. You may want to try your hand at screenplays or story plots that provide a basis for a screenplay. There are easy and inexpensive ways to obtain books of completed screenplays and story plots. Read them, learn how they are structured, and how they are submitted. Writing is a craft. It is about using words as a tool to communicate ideas and emotions, describe scenes, depict what the eye and the mind experience. Read those who have done it well. Find those authors you personally like, not just the ones your told to like. But also push yourself to read those authors and kinds of writing that you might not easily gravitate toward. Experience all the varieties of writing you can discover and wrap your mind around as much of it as you can.

In addition to reading the various literary forms, read those writers who discuss their craft, those who share their thoughts on their work. I thoroughly enjoy reading a writer who discusses her or his approach to the writing life. There are many ideas to glean from such discussions, and you might find that such thoughts spur your own creative juices. Authors also tend to write books on the craft of writing. Mary Oliver’s, Rules of the Dance and A Poetry Handbook are excellent works on the craft of poetry. I chose those two works because I thoroughly enjoy the poetry of Mary Oliver. Works such as Hemingway on Writing can be useful as well. Writers on writing are excellent sources of ideas and insights into the creative process.

I would also suggest that anyone interested in writing subscribe to a magazine that focuses on the craft of writing. There are numerous publications out there. I personally enjoy The Writer’s Digest. Go to your local bookstore, explore the magazine racks, and find the ones that highlight the craft of writing. Become a voracious reader.

Find a Trusted Eye

I stated above that when you create a piece and bring it to fruition, it is yours and belongs to no one else. Although I stand by that statement, it is likewise true, that once your work is in the public eye, on a certain level, it belongs to readers as well. I think it is extremely important to find at least one person – and it may prove to be just one person – who can read and edit your work for typographical errors that your eye just simply does not catch because you’re so used to knowing what is supposed to be on the page. That same person can edit your as well for clarity and provide input on the clarity of your writing, helping you understand if you are actually saying what you want to say. With the last bit of input, however, I would emphatically state that you have the final word on what you want to say, whether an editor likes it or not. There are some things by which you have to trust your will and gut. For those you ask to read your material, make sure they are trustworthy, and that they are not someone who simply likes to tear things down. Avoid those who fancy themselves as literary critics, and it’s probably a good idea, as well, to avoid literature professors. (My personal apologies to all those profs who work hard teaching literature, and ones from which I benefited in pursuing my master’s degree in lit. But you know who you are out there!). Those who teach creative writing, however, are a good source for feedback.

I think it’s a good idea, as well, to join reading and writing groups to obtain feedback on your work. Likewise, attend writing workshops, knowing that some will be more informative than others. Anything that allows you to obtain feedback, to practice your writing more, and help you gain confidence, not in what others want, but in what you want, is worthwhile.

Conclusion

Most people who like to write will find any avenue they can to practice their writing and get their wares out for the purpose of feedback. Obviously, one of the ways I have as an outlet is this blog. Writing blogs are simple to create, and those who utilize them can place their writings before the public eye on a consistent basis. It is a quick and easy way to obtain feedback from others on your writing. If you work in a professional field, you can also submit written essays and articles to professional journals, which allows you to experience a different genre of writing. For all those who want to write for personal reasons, know that you’re not alone when at times you’re flooded with doubts and thoughts such as, I’m not a writer; who am I fooling? For sure you will not be a writer if you don’t sit down and write. And you may not be a writer if your standard is to have sales that bring you a huge income, recognition that heaps upon you the Poet Laureate, the Pulitzer, and eventually the Nobel Prize in Literature. But if you want to write and think that you might enjoy the process of writing more than the finished product, then, by all means, write. Through the process of writing, finished products will emerge. And I would be lying if I didn’t say that I like it when I receive feedback from readers that they enjoyed what I’ve written.  Doubts and fears may come true. They will for sure be true if you don’t take the risk to write. I say all this as one who is not a recognized writer, will most likely never become a well-known writer, but one who thoroughly enjoys reading and writing. So good luck!!

John V. Jones, Jr., Ph.D./April 14, 2014

GENERAL ESSAY

There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven.  – – Ecclesiastes

Introduction

Some years back I remember discovering an old school annual from my senior year in high school that called on me to envision what I hoped to be doing five years after graduation. I couldn’t help but get a chuckle out of what I had written: I hope to have graduated college with an engineering degree, be practicing electrical engineering, and be married with at least two children. It is interesting, indeed, to find such treasures buried in personal stored boxes, unearth them like some archaeological remain, and to reflect upon the history associated with such an artifact.

What’s in a Plan?

Needless to say, countless curve balls assaulted that five-year plan, including that while spending more time in the pool hall than class and navigating several girlfriends, I quickly discovered that not only was engineering not my dream, but also I had few, if any, dreams or goals of my own. So following the sinuous paths of Junior College (Community College for you Gen. X’s and Millennial’s), various and sundry jobs, the Air Force Reserve, numerous relationships, several university major changes, and finally three different degrees, I wound upon a path (or should I say paths), I would have never planned nor envisioned. Nor would I have embarked on such a plan if someone would have laid it out in front of me and told me, this is how it’s going to fall out. For in fact, probably like most life-paths, it doesn’t appear to be a plan at all, but an accumulation of a hodgepodge of tries, failures, confusions, successes, more failures, and more successes, all resulting in a witches brew that we call a life journey.

‘What If‘ Meanderings

I have to admit that I reflect on the notion of what it might have been like if I had done it all right, whatever doing it right entails. [And above all, what it would have been like if I had learned to play a rock guitar like Eric Clapton or Jimmy Page!!] However thoughts about doing it all over again, and then doing it right, tend not to be all that fruitful. Although such meanderings can take on some enjoyable daydreaming at times, if taken too seriously they can lead to nagging doubts, feelings of wasted time, and thoughts of regret. Typically such reflections include notions of never making a mistake, never encountering either mental or moral failings, and being perfectly responsible for every action taken. That’s a nice piece of heaven-on-earth, but back here on earth, it’s not all that helpful because it’s not all that real. As it is anyway, I believe I can say with complete honesty that after all the highs and lows, losses and victories, failures and successes, I’m glad to be exactly where I am at this moment – living, breathing, healthy, and very thankful to be alive.

To Plan or Not to Plan

I’m going to throw this out there, and I hope readers respond to this writing because I am truly interested in your thoughts. To me, there appears to be in life many tensions that we’re always seeking to navigate. One of those tensions involves what I have already somewhat touched on: planning our life journey on the one hand, while, on the other hand, taking life in stride. Like many tensions, I don’t believe it’s an either-or question. And I’m for sure not writing this piece to lecture anyone on how to navigate this or any other tension in life. For one thing, quite frankly I wouldn’t know what to tell anyone, and secondly, even if I thought I had a clue, I wouldn’t offer it as an answer for everyone else. Nonetheless, it’s a navigation that appears to make up our personal endeavors and to be inherent in our human existence.

Shock Therapy & The Fruitlessness of Worry

Based on my own experiences, it appears that if we lean too hard on one side of that tension or the other, we encounter some shock therapy that sends us rebounding to the other side or pole. I know well those times when I have tried much too hard to control life and where it seemed to be taking me. No matter how hard I fought not to be taken there, I ended up there anyway. Other times, I have most definitely had to face the consequences of shoddy planning, lack of preparation, or no planning or preparation whatsoever. Yet with the planning, lack of planning, misfires, and misjudgments, life has shaken out the way it has. If there’s one thing I would have changed, looking back, it would have been not to have worried so much or have been so uptight about how things might fall out. I don’t believe that worrying added a thing to my understanding of how to do this thing called living, except to teach me the fruitlessness of worrying. But then that too is a lesson. Is it not? Alas, the writings of Solomon in Proverbs and the “Preacher” in Ecclesiastes ring loud and clear. Don’t all of our encounters with life come about in ways that, if we choose, we can learn something from them?

Adjusting ‘What If’ to ‘How‘

It seems to me that those if I had done it right meanderings seek to rob us of something valuable in life, although I admit we probably don’t want what that is most of the time. And that of course are those mental mistakes and moral failures. I have come to believe, however, [and it scares the bejabbers out of me to write this sentence] that such mistakes and failures are what life learning is all about. But we must take the opportunity to embrace the learning. The meanderings will most likely not cease for me anyway. Like I said, they can be fun at times. But I’m seriously thinking about altering them from if I had done it right meanderings to how did I get here meanderings. Perhaps such a twist will allow me to take in the whole experience – wins, losses, successes, and failures. So I’m not saying that I want to stop reflecting on my life as past, present, and future. But in so doing, I feel I need to reflect on my life, not some life that could’ve, should’ve, or would’ve been.

Conclusion

The title of this essay is Taking Life in Stride, so that side of the tension most definitely appeals to me. However, I don’t think taking life in stride necessarily negates making and having plans. It’s a tension that merely needs to exist. And in allowing it do so, I hope it likewise allows me stay grounded in the present, to learn what I need from the past while letting go of what I don’t need, and to remain hopeful for the future. No doubt I will make other mistakes and commit moral failings that I can hopefully glean something from that keeps me heading somewhere, even if I don’t exactly know where that is all that time. The wise “Preacher” in Ecclesiastes says it best, in a way that cannot be improved upon:

For there is a proper time and procedure for every delight, though a man’s trouble is heavy upon him  .  .  . No man has authority to restrain the wind with the wind.

Years ago, a 60’s folk singer, Donovan, had a hit song entitled, “Try and Catch the Wind.” The song created this image in my mind of a guy running around an idyllic country scene waving a butterfly net in the air. When asked by someone what he was doing, he replied, I’m trying to catch the wind. Rather than enjoying what was there, the harried individual was seeking to accomplish what was impossible. We simply can’t know when and how things will happen. And it seems to be a human failing that we are constantly trying to know more than we can actually know. So are Solomon’s warnings a charge against planning? I don’t think so. But perhaps they are a charge that we not become too locked into making our plans fall out the way we think they should, come hell or high water. Plans are simply human creations, and there’s nothing wrong with scrapping them rather than hanging on to them with a death grip. As the “Preacher” warns, and as Donovan’s song suggests, empty striving can only lead to further empty striving,  which the “Preacher” aptly sums up as striving after the wind.

John V. Jones, Jr., Ph.D/March 14, 2015

GENERAL ESSAY

Introduction

Last month’s blog article introduced the Contemplative Life and the notion that contemplation and action, rather than being antithetical, are two sides of the same coin. This month I will focus on those areas in people’s lives that might be the target for contemplation and reflection as they prepare to take action to pursue the kind of lives they desire. I will address four areas that are by no means exhaustive in how one might conceptualize contemplation and action. The four areas are: 1) career counseling and guidance; 2) interpersonal relationships; 3) values clarification and spirituality; and 4) life transitions.

Career Counseling & Guidance

The area of work and/or career forms an important value for most of us. Moreover, we are looking for many things from our work or career. I would guess that we most likely would agree with the idea that we want work that aligns with our basic or core values. We desire the kind of career that is satisfying, fulfilling, productive, and meaningful. Career plays a major role in the kind of life we want to carve our for ourselves. But explorations in this area will be unique to each individual who seeks to reflect on the place of work in his or her life. Career can mean a lot of things to different people, so concerns in this areas run the gamut of personal struggles. A person might be so dissatisfied with his work or career path that he is contemplating a major change along that path. Or an individual may like what she does, but would prefer to work in a different setting or environment. Or perhaps a person has run to the end of one career and simply seeks to go in a different direction because such a change will be life-fulfilling. But what direction does he or she want to take? What are the risks of such changes when one considers the importance of finances, maintaining an achieved standard of living, or planning for retirement? Other people may want to transition to the kind of work that allows them to follow their passions, or they may simply want work that provides them with the means to pursue other things more important to them. Exploration of what work means to a person and how work aligns with and allows the individual to tap into his or her values are areas ripe for contemplation and action.

Interpersonal Relationships

Our lives are populated by other people, and being in relationship with them helps us understand ourselves better. Such understanding can enrich our family lives, friendships, co-worker relationships, and even acquaintances. Reflecting on relationships can trigger a multitude of questions for anyone. Some people may desire to enrich particular relationships, or they may want to find ways to build relationships they do not presently have. And some people may want to reflect on how end certain relationships in which they find themselves and build new lives for themselves. Regardless of what people pursue and long for in their lives, their interpersonal relationships will play a major role in their decisions about the kind of life they want to carve out for themselves. Relationships come and go, start and end, or develop and fade away. How we related to others impacts, not only how we construct a fulfilling life for ourselves, but also it informs how we understand our personal identity.

Values Clarification & Spirituality

People seek to have meaningful lives. Living in alignment with what we claim to value is an important core of personal meaning. We claim to hold certain values, but life has a way of throwing curve balls at us that may force us to rethink what we say we value. Particularly in the areas of career, relationships, and the search for a fulfilling life, people may find their values challenged on many levels. Then questions arise: Do I really value what I claim to value? Have I simply inculcated values from others without truly reflecting whether or not they are my values? Can I hold to my values even when life circumstances pressure me to contradict them? I firmly believe that people cannot achieve a meaningful life without settling on what they truly value. That does not mean that values cannot or should not change. In fact, such value changes generate the need for contemplation followed by action that one needs to take in order to live by newly developed values.

For many people values and spirituality are intimately connected. People’s spiritual beliefs provide an avenue for them to find meaning in their day-to-day living. Spirituality may entail religious beliefs, or it may not. But either way, spirituality speaks to that transcendent endeavor that seems to captivate people who are seeking a deeper, richer, more fulfilling life. The contemplative life allows people to reflect on the relationship between their values and spiritual beliefs. Perhaps someone is struggling with what he truly believes religiously and spiritually. Or a person may feel for various reasons that her relationship to her spiritual or religious community is in some kind of jeopardy. Or someone may want to explore what spirituality means to him or her personally. The spiritual disciplines of meditation, prayer, solitude, and simplicity among others can aid in one’s exploration of spirituality and values.

Life Transitions

Much of what has been discussed thus far can fall in the realm of life transitions that people experience. Facing day-to-day life decisions means that we face many transitions in our lives. Such transitions raise various questions. Am I beginning or ending a career path? Am I changing the road I’m on, desiring to head somewhere completely new in my life? Am I seeking to enter a new or exit an old relationship? How am I to deal with getting older, realizing that time doesn’t offer me the wiggle room it used to? How do I face and deal with changes in my life? How do I navigate life struggles and failed opportunities in my life so as to come out the other side stronger and wiser? Life transitions form the raw material for contemplation and necessary action. My deepest hope is that my practice, Contemplations, offers people the safe haven so that they can fully engage those difficult and challenging struggles that make up this journey we call living.

John V. Jones, Jr., Ph.D., LPC-S/February 14, 2015

GENERAL ESSAY

Introduction

More than once, I have been queried regarding the name of this blog, Contemplations, and the name’s association with my work as a counselor. To that end, I wanted, in this article, to offer some reflections on the nature of the contemplative life, and the relation of contemplation to action. We live in a harried life today where, in our culture, action is valued over contemplation. Yet all of us are probably aware of those times we acted with little reflection and then had to experience the consequences of doing so. Contemplation and action go hand-in-hand. Although the contemplative life tends to draw on images of cenobites and anchorites, such an extreme caricature misses the importance of the need for reflection when we make important decisions for our paths in life, as well as minor decisions. Contemplation is not about turning into a recluse and pondering the meaning of life, but never acting on or toward what life brings at us. However, it is about finding a way to calm the storm that can seemingly come at us in this fast-paced and high-tech life of which we are all a part.

My Vision

My vision for Contemplations is that it will become a place that provides time and space for people to slow down the pace of life, step on the brakes, so to say, and take time to reflect on how they truly want to live and shape their lives. Some people may be seeking only small changes in their lives while others are going through major transitions. Perhaps some people need a venue to recoup after a day’s work, or they may need just a few meetings to get away from the daily routines of life. Others may need some extended time to process major changes that are presently occurring or will occur in their lives in the near future. I envision my practice as providing people the place and time to support them while they seek to navigate the sinuous paths their lives may take.

Modalities

As a counselor, I draw on several modalities for working with people. Although I use no one particular theoretical approach in counseling, I work primarily within an existential framework. On a practical level, such an approach means that I work with individuals to explore the many themes that emerge in their lives. Counseling will be tailored to the particular concerns or questions with which individuals are dealing. My work with individuals may entail such foci as career counseling and guidance, values clarification, spirituality, and navigating other transitions in life.

Mindfulness

The contemplative life is largely associated with the practice of mindfulness. However, mindfulness can mean many things. For centuries, people have drawn on what are called the spiritual disciplines as a guide in their navigation to life’s challenges and pleasures. Meditation is one particular discipline, but mindfulness entails much more that meditation. Personally, I like to describe being mindful as becoming aware of things in our lives that might be affecting us that heretofore we have remained unaware. Such things may entail the way we make decisions, deeply held values of which we’re unaware, the way in which our emotions impact us, certain beliefs we hold of which we’re unaware, and the manner in which our interpersonal relationships can influence us. Most importantly, such an approach, while it can draw on spirituality if people so wish to do so, is not necessarily associated with any one spiritual belief system. [For example, although meditation for many people is associated with Eastern Religions, I’m not a Buddhist.] This approach allows people to bring to this work whatever spiritual values they hold, if they choose to draw on those. Or spirituality may not be important to them at all. People can discover how to become aware of things in all areas of their lives. Such awareness provides them with a new angle on life by which to make decisions and shape their lives.

The Harried Life

Mindfulness is just one point under an umbrella of the contemplative life. Contemplation is itself a way of living. From my perspective, our society has lost the richness that comes from slowing down so as to reflect on life. We are a busy society, and while that is not necessarily a bad thing, a thoroughly hyperactive life can rob us of the enrichment that comes with taking time to reflect on how we would prefer to live. Purposely drawing on time to take stock of our lives feels risky. In our society, we are taught to value action. Acting on life is indeed important. But action without reflection can lead us to be tossed here and there by waves of expediency leaving us to feel as if our lives do not rest on a solid footing. The contemplative life does not demand of us to become a troglodyte, but simply asks us to reflect before we act.

Conclusion: Reflection on What?

I want to conclude this article here, leaving readers with an idea of what the contemplative life is and what it is not. Those things that people might reflect on and desire to work through will be the subject of the second part of this essay on contemplation. In Part II of the Contemplative Life, I will focus on those areas that people might explore, completing the vision I have for my work. Such areas include: 1) major transitions in life; 2) values clarification; 3) the influence of certain relationships in which one in engaged; and 4) career counseling and guidance. Part II will explore these areas in more detail. In the meantime, it is important to realize that contemplation and action are not antithetical. They are reciprocal, and involve processes that can aid all of us in our navigation toward the kind of life we desire to live.

John V. Jones, Jr., Ph.D., LPC-S/January 14, 2015

GENERAL ESSAY

Introduction

When one hears the word, Entrepreneur, the world of business automatically comes to mind, as it properly should. Entrepreneurs are those trailblazers engaging high-risk business ventures that most people would leave to the few and the wild. The paths they open up benefit those who follow where they have risked first blood. Although I do not want to minimize how the business entrepreneur, venture capitalist, benefits society –  (true free market entrepreneurs are minimized much too often these days) – in this essay, I would like to expand the concept of entrepreneurship, using it as a metaphor for what I call Entrepreneurial Living. Such a notion calls on us to become entrepreneurs of our own lives, carving out our Life Paths as we pursue a multitude of Life-Long Goals we set and reset for ourselves, perhaps modifying, altering, or revolutionizing them along the way. In the pursuit of such paths, we typically come to realize that in order to succeed in capturing our goals, we need to take stock of our present Personal Skills and Needed Skills, and, all along the way, we need to clarify our Personal Values, which inform what we pursue and how we get there. Any form of entrepreneurship comprises our grasping these concepts for ourselves: Life Paths, Personal Goals, Immediate Goals, Personal Skills, and Needed Skills. I will provide my own take on these concepts in my call to those who wish to do so to embrace the spirit of Entrepreneurial Living. From my perspective, Entrepreneurial Living entails each of us coming to grips with what is of most important in our lives, and how we can pursue what that entails so as to fully engage a life of fulfillment. Such a life will mean something different for each one of us. And what I have to say here is simply my take. Hopefully this perspective can provide some food for thought that people can apply to their own personal contexts.

Life Paths

Life Paths are those roads we travel throughout our lives to accomplish the goals we set for ourselves. They are the many trails we travel to reach our goals. Moreover, Life Paths comprise experiences from which we can learn or fail to learn. Of course, learning from our experiences keeps us on track. But if we fail to learn lessons from our experiences in the moment, we may lose valuable insights that can help us continue to navigate the path we’re on. This is not to say that everything is lost if we fail to learn something important in each and every moment. We can reflect back on our experiences and gain lessons through such reflection. [Such reflection time, by the way, I believe is important to fruitful entrepreneurship. We need to find ways to build such time into our daily activities.] But the hard truth of the matter is that we can, and most likely will, miss opportune moments in our endeavors to learn important lessons. Recognizing this is a learning experience itself. Sometimes we have to grasp the hard truth that we simply missed some important crossroads in our lives. Such an experience brings up another important axiom for fruitful entrepreneurship: Being honest with ourselves when we miss such opportunities. It is a sad fact, I think, that we, as human beings, tend to deny truths about ourselves. Authenticity is an important value to embrace if one seeks to be an entrepreneur of one’s life.

As I stated above, I strongly believe that reflection is an important skill for the entrepreneur. Life Paths contain valuable lessons and information from which we can glean important knowledge that hopefully translates into wisdom for living. They mysterious thing about Life Paths, however, is that most of the time they tend to be on the edge of our awareness. Many times a Life Path is something about which we gain concrete understanding only after reflection. As we get older, hopefully we learn how to more efficiently size up the present situations in which we find ourselves. We become more aware of how to glean lessons from our concrete experiences. Such lessons can be about our selves, others, or the contexts in which we move and live. Lessons can also transform into spiritual or transcendent experiences in that they can help us obtain personal meaning. Reflection work can involve many ways for taking stock of our lives. We can think back on the many paths we traveled, how we got onto them, and how we have arrived where we are at the moment. What put us on a particular path? What have we learned from where and how we have traversed? Did we miss something important at the time? In what ways did the paths we traveled make demands on us? Did we meet those demands, or did we falter? What did we learn about ourselves either way? How do Life Paths illumine our past and present relationships, work, career, personal goals, and personal meaning? Reflection time can help us come to grips with some of these questions. It is important, however, to not get bogged down in mere reflection. In the meantime, life keeps rolling.

Reflection upon and gaining more clarity about our Life Paths can help us make decisions about the paths we have traveled and those that we are yet to traverse. Are we on the path we want to travel? We cannot know the end from the beginning. We cannot obtain promises and guarantees that our paths will turn out the way we want them to. There is much work to be done on our part so as to make the best decisions possible regarding our Life Paths. Beyond that, we simply live day-to-day. 

Personal Goals

Life-Long Goals: Life-Long Goals are those long-term goals we set for ourselves that delineate the objectives and accomplishments we hope to obtain. They can involve family, work, career, leisure, travel, finances, owning a home, planning for retirement, and on and on. Life-Long Goals are typically guided by our Personal Values. We pursue what we count as valuable. To be honest, I have what I consider a mixed-bagged experience with long-term goals. I know people who have settled in on their Life-Long Goals, and have wavered only a few degrees off mark. For me, quite frankly, that has not been the case. No doubt, I set long-term goals for myself, but the paths I have traveled have been many and sinuous, with twist and turns I would have never imagined. The one lesson regarding long-term goals I have gleaned for myself is simply not to stand still. Set the goal, and start moving. It will take you somewhere. How much foundation one sets before moving, how much one plans, and how much one knows before setting sail, are, no doubt, important considerations. Yet such considerations are the very stuff that few, if any, can answer for others. My take is simply this: gather your information, obtain feedback from wise people you trust, make your plans to the best of your ability and to your personal satisfaction. But when you step out onto your journey, it is your path, and it belongs to no one else. People, indeed, move though life without reflecting much on their goals. Although such a take on life doesn’t exactly work for me, what has come to work for me – what I have come to believe – is not to let long-term goals bog me down to the point I don’t move. And also, I have become quite convinced that being aware of when to change or even let go of long-term goals is an important matter that can prevent one for trying to sail a ship that is much too leaky. I believe an important consideration regarding long-term goals is whether or not we let them restrict the way we go about living. In relation to our goals, what do we say to ourselves or about ourselves that may limit, restrict, or impede the way we go about living? I wish I could provide more in terms of what might be considered insight here. But, in my own way of living, I have become much too aware of what I don’t know in comparison to what I do know.

Immediate Goals: It is quite common in most how-to treatises to divide goals into long-term and immediate or short-term goals. [The last thing I want this essay to be is a how-to treatise!] No doubt, immediate goals entail those we set at the moment or for the immediate future to meet certain needs, develop particular skills, or to accomplish certain tasks so that life can go on for us. The threat of immediate-goals is what some call the tyranny of the urgent. [The opposite effect is the fog of the future, whereby long-term plans cloud our judgment regarding immediate goals.] The tyranny of the urgent allows immediate goals to overwhelm us to the point that we lose site of our long-term goals. In distinguishing our long-term from our short-term goals, it is important to know how the latter serves the former. Yet it is important to realize that as we pursue immediate goals, such pursuits can have a rippling effect on our long-term plans. I think it is important to stay open to this reciprocity without bowing to the tyranny of the urgent or getting lost in the fog of the future. Reflection time can be the key here as well: gaining clarification, making necessary changes, or staying the course. The interrelationship of our various goals set the paths we travel.

Becoming clear about Personal Goals means we make decisions with more awareness. Decisions may still be difficult, and we, once again, do not know the end from the beginning. But it is important work for each individual to clear as much fog as possible from around his or her decision-making. The fog will never be totally cleared; there are always risks that go with decisions. But as we become more aware about our Personal Goals, our decisions are more likely to flow smoother from such clarity. 

Personal Skills

Present Skills: If we want to pursue our Life Paths and achieve our Personal Goals, then life demands of us that we possess a set of Personal Skills by which we accomplish this endeavor. Another important avenue of exploration for the entrepreneur of life is to take stock of the present skills he or she in fact possesses. We develop a wide variety of skills of which we may not even be aware merely through our experience of living. People skills, organization skills, physical skills, analytical skills, big-picture skills, attention-to-detail skills, etc. Likewise, there are conceptual skills: thinking, reflection, and meditation skills. All of us who are engaged in living are constantly developing a variety of skills. Those skills to some degree have emerged from what we value, and, in turn, influence what we continue to value, what we pursue, and the goals we set for ourselves. Taking stock of our present skills is an awareness type of work that we can put to use to help our decision making regarding our Life Paths and Personal Goals.

Needed Skills: If it is important to clarify what skills we possess, it is equally important clarify what skills we lack that are needed in pursuit of the goals and paths we have set for ourselves. What skills do we need to develop to accomplish the things we want? How do we even find out what skills we need? Here the important trait of self-honesty comes into play again. What will it take for us to be honest with ourselves about the skills we lack? What will it take for us to reach down into our gut and admit that we do not have certain skills that would be beneficial or totally necessary for us to accomplish in life what we desire? We all possess certain skills, and we all lack important ones to obtain those goals in life that make us reach beyond our present circumstances. Important goals in our lives make us stretch; they lead to personal growth. Growth means, we have to develop.

Gaining clarity on the skills that we possess, as well as the skills we need to develop involves awareness work on our part that clears the paths of obstacles in our Life Paths and to our Personal Goals. Being honest with ourselves, rather than being in denial about the skills we lack will, in the long run, serve us in our pursuit of what we desire from life. Whether or not we like it, to desire something from life requires that we also come to grips with what life requires of us. If I am not honest with myself about the skills I possess and those that I lack, then in navigating my Life Path I will encounter obstacles that could have been avoided through more self-honesty or authenticity.

Personal Values

Values can be distinguished in many ways. Morals, tastes, subjective evaluations, all make up ways that explain how people may come to value things in life or about life. Personal Values drive and lead us down our Life Paths and inform us as we set our Personal Goals. We may value a certain lifestyle – a home, a good job, a family, and success at raising children. We may value a certain level of income, or a steady, secure job. Or we may value freedom and flexibility rather than stability. We may have values that appear to conflict. Can we make them work, or do we need to choose one over the other? And then, what are spiritual values? What part do they play in the way we set our Personal Goals and navigate our Life Path? The entrepreneur of life must take stock once again as to how to approach life so as to live by his or her values. That bothersome personal authenticity raises its head again. When I say I value something, am I being honest with myself? Or have I unthinkingly – unreflectively – inculcated my values from my family, peers, or the social context in which I am immersed? Awareness work is of the essence once again. Once aware of my values, how do they reflect my decisions about relationships, family, work, career, or spirituality?

Becoming clear about what values are our own as opposed to those things we are told or led to value can vastly enhance our decision making regarding Life Paths and Personal Goals. Being clear about what we truly value provides some understanding of what is required to step into a decision. Courage is what allows and leads us to take such steps. Without clear values and an understanding of where we want to head in our lives, courage is hard to come by. Yet courage is most important during those times when we lack clarity – specifically the courage to be honest about such uncertainty. Clarifying values is like any other clarifying work we do. We cannot see what life will bring our way that will challenge, and perhaps, alter our values. We move on what we understand at the moment. Courage helps us put one foot in front of the other as we navigate life, constantly checking our need to clarify our values. 

Conclusion: Entrepreneurial Living

When reflecting on the world of business, where people carve out lives for themselves, the entrepreneur is someone who ventures, takes risks, and faces the unknown. He is someone who realizes that there are no guarantees to his venturing out. She may succeed or she may fail. He has done all he can do to make his path as obstacle-free as possible. But no one person can see or know the end from the beginning. There are always boulders in the path that he or she didn’t count on. There are dead-end trails that come up shorter than anyone hoped or expected. So the entrepreneur has to be flexible and adaptable. The entrepreneur will have to perform a lot of problem-solving along the way and the circumventing of boulders. However, such circumventing cannot be a way of avoiding working through difficulties. Sometimes one merely may have to go through a boulder. The entrepreneur knows that if difficulties are not worked through, they have a way of systematically returning, perhaps being worse on the recycle.

Such a scenario is true of any business venture. But isn’t it also true of living? Entrepreneurial Living is risky, with no guarantees, and no promises for a successful tomorrow. As we set out on our Life Paths, guided by our Personal Values and moving toward our Personal Goals, do we have any guarantees that we will obtain that for which we reach? If we are going to pursue something worthwhile that will bring Personal Meaning to us, then life is going to demand certain things of us, whether we like it or not. And what those demands are, we rarely know until we step out onto the path we desire to travel.

Entrepreneurial Living means coming to grips with the fact that no on can give us a life. We may, indeed, need to ask for help along the way? Most of us do. We may need to lean on someone through tough times. Many of us have and will. And there is value in so doing. But no one can promise us a life anymore than they can give us a set of values and principles by which to live. They can share values and principles, but somewhere along the line of our Life Paths, we have to own either embracing those values and principles for our lives, or rejecting them for an alternative set of values and principles.

Entrepreneurial Living means experiencing, facing, and learning the lessons from successes, setbacks, and failures. Someone has said that the word, failure, needs to cease being a dirty word. I totally agree.  We may fail. We will fail. But we will not succeed until we learn how to learn from failure. Life offers no promises. And life is not always fair. These adages we have heard time and again. But until we face them in the experiential nexus of our own personal living, we truly do not understand what the words mean.

Entrepreneurial Living means stepping into the unknown. What we don’t know is infinitely greater than what we do know. We have to truly, radically accept the notion of our ignorance, and humble ourselves accordingly. Until we accomplish the task of humility, arrogance and hubris will go out before us while time awaits our downfall. [And I write this as a person who has a difficult time with humility.] We will arrogantly assume that we know all that we need to know about living. But life itself will teach us differently. And either we will learn to accommodate the lessons of living, or we will crash and break up by throwing ourselves against them. The entrepreneur of life understands that the unknown is incomprehensible and not necessarily safe.

Although the word, entrepreneur, describes those individuals who carve out a business for themselves, it can also become a epithet for the entrepreneur of life. Entrepreneurial Living reflects what it takes to live a life of personal fulfillment and meaning. Being an entrepreneur is an approach to life, but it is also a stance toward life, where one pursues his passion with all he has in him.

John V. Jones, Ph.D., LPC-S/December 14, 2014

GENERAL ESSAY